How to make your kids smile in the morning!

Okay, so I go to the bible study for moms at our church last night feeling pretty good about myself. I had gotten everyone to all activities on time, cleaned the house up, done laundry, played with Hogan, went to the grocery store and arrived for the bible study carpool on time!!! All major accomplishments for me (except playing - I do that very well!) The pastor's wife begins by having us make a collage of our life. Mine of course portrays chaos! How else can you describe the last year? I have a disjointed woman jogging with a phrase "out of whack?" and a dog with a shredded roll of toilet paper etc. As we are sitting there visiting the lady next to me begins to talk about milk. Well okay I don't usual talk about milk but I am game. She is explaining to another friend (who grinds her own wheat) that you can buy skim milk and mix it with heavy whipping cream. I am thinking why in the world would anyone do that? So I listen and learn that neither are homogenized. Never really gave this any thought. She states that since you need the fat to metabolize fat soluble vitamins she mixes the two to get a small percentage of fat. Stupid me chimes in with something like I thought that was what McDonald's was for - metabolizing fat soluble vitamins!!! She looks at me and laughing says they will continue to work on me. I laugh and the wheat grinding friend laughs looks at the other lady and says she, referring to me, is laughing but she is not kidding. No I am not kidding, I love Big Macs. I know they are terrible for you, but they are so good to me. I even get the large coke when I eat one!!! If you are going to keel over from fat you might as well have some good old caffeine and sugar on board. The rest of the evening is pretty much the same. These ladies talk about homeschooling, cooking, mixing various milks, cleaning etc. All very foreign topics to me. I keep thinking about the frozen foods I bought to heat for my family, all the house work I left undone, did we read with Sarah yesterday? At least I buy organic milk! :-)

Fast forward to this morning. I am rushing around with stringing wet hair, makeup bag in my hand trying like mad to get everyone out the door on time (Steve had an early meeting this AM- so I am flying solo). Sarah begins to tell me she did not eat breakfast. Then she asks for McDonald's (don't know where she learned that bad habit from). Now she is crying because I said we don't have time. I look frantically at the green bananas, reach for a jar of peanut butter, spoon, bag of chips, cheese dip, and caffeine free Dr. Pepper. Sarah gets the peanut butter and spoon, Hogan gets the bag of chips and cheese dip. Both get a glass of good old caffeine free Dr. Pepper! (Sorry Grandma Marcia!) I shove them in the car and they are beaming now! There are no more fights, no whinning, no fussing, no tears, just silence and a few happy sounds.

So now I am thinking okay, after this I must go mill some wheat, mix some milk, grow some organic vegetables and kill a roaming chicken for supper to make up for this. I will clean house all day, wash the car and walk the dogs. Reality - I run errands, work on Plastag, attend a meeting, visit Steve at work for a few minutes, pick up kids, take care of more of mom's affairs, come home pop a frozen pizza in the oven, offer chips and spinach dip, yogurt, or pickles as snacks while we wait. Pop popcorn after dinner and bake pre-made cookies! I don't guess I will be getting mother of the year awards - unless my kids get to vote!

Disclaimer: Just so you know I really do admire these women. I don't know how they do it. They juggle so much and seem so serene. Truth be told, they are probably better educated than myself because they are educating others. I don't know when I last thought about a proper adjective. (Can you tell?) Homeschooling mom's have to be mom, maid, cook, teacher, and coach all at the same time. I think they are wonder women! And I still need to learn more about that milk thing.