Titus Tidbits

Grandmother and J

2009-10-19T22:08:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to post this cute picture. We had to take pics to Mother's Day Out to make a book for J. It was supposed to be all his family. Well apparently I have been too busy to take good pictures of anyone lately, so this was an attempt and fixing that. Right after I snapped this the batteries in the camera went dead! Sometimes you can't win for losin'!

Fun before school!

2009-08-25T09:27:00.001-05:00

Well, we ran ourselves crazy last week. School started on Wed. and we tried to play ourselves silly before then! We went to the movies, ate at our favorite pizza place and played games in the arcade for a loooonnnngggg time! Then one day we went to the park at the river and played in the fountain! The kids had a blast! We got smoothies and ate junk!

Between you and me, I think I hate school more than the kids! I could never tell them that. But I hate the early mornings, having to get them in bed by 8 or 8:30. I hate packing lunches when it is not for a picnic. I hate homework. I don't think there are many things I do like. But it is necessary. They must learn and I really feel God has called them to public school. So we do what we have to.

Wednesday morning came all too soon and I cried all the way home after dropping them off. That is supposed to only happen in K isn't it? Seems silly when they are in the third and first grade. But I love being with my kids, even the crazy cranky days are better than them being gone. I love all the little hugs and kisses I get during the day. The funny things they say are missed. The sweet things they do for each other on occasion are not happening while in class.

So you might ask why I think they are "called" to public school. Sounds strange I know. People are supposed to be called to ministry. Well I think we all are called to ministry somewhere. I have prayed for hours about their schooling. We were about ready to pull them out and either put them in private school or home school them. I was agonizing over a difficult year for S last year. But God used my trip to Voice of the Martyrs last year to confirm in my heart what we had originally thought. We had chosen public school because I spent one of my worst years in a private school. That is not to say that all private schools are bad, but it left a terrible taste in my mouth for private schools. (I could type for hours about it!) But one of the main things was the limited number of students and how much control these students seem to have over the school because momma and daddy had money! Then we kept seeing a lot of people homeschooling and wondered if everyone that believed in Christ pulled their kids out to protect them from the world, who is left in the world to be a light? No wonder we are losing ground in the public school arena. We are making a mass exodus as Christians. While at VOM, I read about Christians whose children were in real danger because of their faith. How could they do what they do knowing that their children are at such risk? They have a great faith in God. They chose to serve and trust that what happens is in God's hands. Bottom line: They trust God with their children. So if they can find the faith to trust God with their precious little one's can't I find the faith to trust God with mine being in public school? It is hard let me tell you. That's why I cried all the way home. But God does not call us to an easy life. He calls us to be a light. So I pray that they shine brightly every single day. We pray with them about this and they know why they go to public school. They are little warriors putting on their armor every morning in the car on the way! Please pray for all our little warriors on the front lines!

18 years!

2009-08-16T22:51:00.002-05:00

Today marked our anniversary. We have been married 18 years! I just can't believe it. We have had many ups and downs during those years. But through it all we are definately happier now than 18 years ago! I recently read where a friend said that if she knew then what she knew now she would have somersaulted down the isle. Well, I ditto that! I was so nervous as a bride. I was a baby you know! I wanted everything to be perfect and beautiful. If I had known how beautifully Steve would treat me then I would have skipped the whole thing and rushed to the first JP I could find when he proposed!

How did we celebrate? Steve and Angie style. We went to church, late of course. Then I talked too long while everyone waited in the van. Then we went to lunch with some friends and the kids. Once we got home, Steve and little J took a nap while the kids and I made a mad dash for school supplies (6 stores and counting!). Then we all had smoothies for supper and watched a Veggie Tales cartoon and played with flashlights. Now everyone is asleep and I will go wake Steve up to watch a silly TV show and eat a Twix and drink a coke!

Birthday details.

2009-08-16T21:01:00.002-05:00

Okay, so J is our third. By the time our first was 6 months old I was taking her to the party supply isle to pick out decorations for her first birthday. Boy have I changed gears. Last year for J's first birthday I threw something together the week before. This year I was out of town the week of his birthday. As soon as I got in town though I started thinking!! LOL!

But I was able to score some free Wiggles tickets for a little work. So I have my mother-in-law, hubby and three kids working to get in to the Wiggles for little J. Well as it turns out J really couldn't have cared less. He does not watch TV or movies and I guess nor does he watch live shows! So we wrestle through the whole thing and go home exhausted!

Next we keep 4 kiddos for some friends that are moving. Each of my kids has a friend their age over for 3 days and 2 nights. Now that is what I call a 2 year old bunking party right? Can't I count that as a party?

So finally the big day comes and I throw together a little family dinner. I plan the menu as posted in the previous post. Sounds good and sweet right? Well this is the inside story of what really happened.

I am marinating the ribs while at least a thousand other things are going on. I turn around to find our outdoor puppy with paws on the counter licking the ribs. I yell at the dog and try to rescue the ribs somehow. Then Steve takes them out to and burns them - excuse me, prepares them very well done! S is standing in the corner for yelling at H and I tell her there is never, yes I used the word never, a good reason to yell like that. So what happens 2 seconds later? The puppy now steals a cupcake from the counter! (Why is the dog in anyway?) So I spin around and yell that "I am going to shoot the dog! No, I am going to shoot all three dogs and be done with the whole thing!" I look at Steve and he has this look of total disbelief on his face as I hear the wailing begin from S! She is our animal lover and standing, remember, in the corner not 5 feet from me. I try to quickly back peddle that one but I really uh oh'd big time with this one. Steve just says "great timing" and walks out of the kitchen for me to fix the tears. I think there was a smile tugging at his mouth! I am sure he was headed out to burn those ribs!!!!

Well the green beans weren't good the night before and they aren't any better warmed over. The German potato salad caused the kids to hold their noses because they smell like vinegar! So the kids basically eat chocolate cake and root beer for dinner!

Now all good parties have presents right? I suddenly remember that I can't remember where I put the presents! So I drag out Grandma Marcia's big box of gifts and take pictures! (Don't worry Grandma Marcia, we gave you credit but I had to have pictures for the future!!!) Finally, H says he knows where I put the presents!! (Think I need a different hiding place for his things now, but my odds of losing them in a new hiding place goes way up!) So I rescue them from their very safe hiddy hole and wrap them in strewn tissue paper!!!

As we are falling into bed that night I sigh and tell Steve what an awful day. Now the saddest thing of all happens! He honestly looks at me and says "Why do you say that?" I then remind him of all the things that went wrong and he simply says in reply, "Well that is just kinda normal don't you think?" :-0

So there you have it. Want me to plan your next party?

It's your birthday little J!!!!

2009-08-08T21:58:00.002-05:00

This year we had a small family party for J. We had ribs, green beans, and german potato salad, green tea and chocolate cake. But we also had 4 other kids over for 3 days so I am exhausted and going to bed. I will have to fill you in on all the details later. But isn't he cute?

A new cast

2009-08-07T21:08:00.002-05:00

Thursday we went to the ortho doc again and little S's arm is still healing fine. They removed the old plaster and fiberglass cast and replaced it with a new waterproof cast! It is purple and much more lightweight and she can get it wet!!!! That is a big deal! We have taken as few baths as summer demands until now. She also went swimming tonight and will be able to go to the water park with the church in a couple of weeks. She may not be able to zip down the slides, but she can go! Sometimes it is the little things in life that make the difference.

Doing Better

2009-08-02T01:09:00.002-05:00

Little S is doing better. Her arm is not hurting near as much. She has had some itching already and that was interesting. She was writhing in the bed begging me to scratch it. I did everything the paperwork said to do and nothing was working. After your daughter cries and begs for you to help her it just get to ya. So I did what any self respecting mom would do. I got something long and skinny and pushed it in the cast and wiggled it around. She immediately stopped kicking and crying. I was so scared I was going to hurt her. But everything was fine. So know that little plastic stick is sacred in our house. I thought I lost it tonight and panicked. I think I need to get several sicks to keep around!

H and J are of course jealous of all the attention that S is getting. There have been lots of arguments and tears. The rainy weather has not helped at all. H finally went to a friends house tonight and we had some peace. Well almost peace. S is a little more whinny than usual and J is always a commotion. But no screaming and fighting. And of course it is not all H's fault. It is just that he is now absent from the picture. I think we would have had the same calm if S had gone to a friends house. They just needed some space.

I will try to post a picture soon. She gets a new cast this week. The plaster cast is so heavy and then they put a layer of fiberglass on it. She has to carry her arm around with the other hand if she does not have the sling on. The new fiberglass only cast is supposed to be lighter.

We just can't stop having fun!

2009-07-24T23:37:00.003-05:00

Well more excitement in the Titus household this week. Thursday morning at work I did not answer my cell phone when it rang because my head was literally in the sink as a gloved nurse helped me wash my face and hair. Don't ask why, I had obviously showered and dressed before going to work, but something really gross at work caused me to start all over. Now it turned out that this just happened to be one of those calls you really don't want to miss. By the time I get another shirt on and my hair wrapped in a towel Steve is on the office phone sounding very stressed. He began telling me that S had been hurt while she was riding horses at her aunt's house. So I immediately call the aunt and hear commotion in the background as the aunt tells me that S fell off her horse that morning and has obviously broken her arm and they are taking her to the ER! They put her on the phone and she burst into tears saying it really hurt. Needless to say my day at the office was over and I bolted for the door. They were going to a hospital a little over an hour away from where I was and of course my gas tank was on E.

When I get to the ER over an hour later she is pale and very still. She already has an IV in place and has had some morphine. I help them hold her for the X-rays, which was painful for her, and we soon learn that she has broken her little arm in 3 places. Two bones are broken completely in two and overlying themselves and the elbow is cracked. They will need to send her to the OR to reset the arm. This required intubation and complete sedation. While waiting for room in the OR they gave her 8mg of morphine through her IV and she never closed her eyes for more than a mere second or two!

She was in the OR and recovery for about an hour and came through the procedure fine but in a lot of pain. She cried more after they set it than I had seen all morning. The doc said it was very difficult to set and they really had to manipulate it to set it. He was glad they had chosen the OR route instead of trying to do it in the ER. (Me too!) But now because it is after 3 they are short staffed and send her to a regular room to finish up the recovery. Due to her pain level we stay about 3 more hours.

Finally about 12 hours after checking in we put her in the car and head home. Fortunately, she slept all the way only moaning with one bump! Through the night we got up every 3 1/2 to 4 hours to change the ice bag, potty and get more pain meds. Her arm has been cramping and spasming a lot. This morning she was nauseated and her belly hurt. Then we had to get out to get the boys from my cousins house and she was really beat by the time we got home. She slept a couple of hours and woke up feeling much better. But the tears came again tonight. She hurts more when she is tired. So I am trying to keep her quiet and rested. She has also been running a low grade fever and I am watching that closely.

We go back in one week for X-rays and a permanent cast. They put a splint cast on because they are anticipating swelling from the difficult time they had setting the bones. They said 5% of these types of breaks require pins, so please pray we will be in the 95% that do not!!

Since riding horses is her favorite thing in the world, everyone keeps asking if she thinks she will want to ride again. She smiles and says she thinks she will but might need a little time to get well first. We are planning on taking her to see the horse this weekend if she is up traveling that far in the car.

I hate ticks!

2009-07-09T23:40:00.002-05:00

If you all remember last summer S had Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever from a tick bite. Well, thanks to country livin' little J now is on antibiotics for another tick borne illness called Ehrlichia! The kids have all run through 5th's Disease the last two weeks. It is just one of those childhood rashes that come and go. It started with S then move to H the 2 days ago little J began his bout. But yesterday morning he woke up with a scary rash. The type that can be from vomiting to much, crying really hard, being strangled, bad disease or things like leukemia. Well you don't just ignore that so I had his blood drawn but wasn't too concerned because he had cried a lot when I put him to bed the night before. But two hours later he had the same rash on his arm where they held him to draw blood. Possible just from the arm holding but a little unlikely.

When the lab came back it looked a little unusual and I freaked just a little, so I called the doc on call since my doc was out of town. (I don't treat my own kids!) He took a look at the lab and said he wanted to see him. He said he thought it was 5ths disease although a little atypical and not to worry. Well,when my doc called to check on the office I told her about our scare. She asked me several questions and then said do you have ticks at your house? Well of course we do and we have been outside A LOT lately. She said well then this is considered Ehrlichia with a normal platelet count and slightly elevated WBC until proven otherwise and put him on antibiotics. He has not missed a beat but I am thinking townhouse!

What I have been up to!

2009-07-07T20:48:00.004-05:00

I have been without a computer and either no Internet or very poor connection for several weeks. But we have been busy cleaning up the yard. I feel like I post about the yard all the time, but this place has been so neglected for so long, it is going to take a lot to get it in shape. Our latest venture is selling timber. We have had several log trucks leave with our trees. I have grieved the poor trees. I love trees. I have my favorites and there are several! I kept bargaining for their very life with Steve and the log guy. My first to save was the little crooked tree by the road. He certainly couldn't sell that one and it looks so cute. Then I was after two oaks in the back. They were on the line Steve had drawn. I just redrew the line. Then there was the large red oak that he buggered up cutting one next to it. It looks bad but will heal. Then there was the large white oak that was on the trail to the long forgotten pond that filled in when the new road was cut 20 years or so ago.Next was the ironwood that I am still not sure about it's safety. Steve agreed to leave it but reserved the right to take it's life later on if need be. But my most passionate plea was for all my dogwoods. I love love love my dogwoods. I lost several just in the falling of the trees. I think a few more will have to go for the barn. Then lastly the big double moss covered oak by the road with the wisteria vine as big as my leg! I am beginning to think I will name all these precious friends. Steve finally told me that I was no longer allowed to go outside and talk to the tree guy. But my MOA was to take him a nice cold Mt. Dew (the man's favorite of course!) Works like a charm. I even had ice cream sandwiches when necessary for the negotiations!

So for the last three weeks we have spent almost every single moment at home in the hot weather hauling, cutting, moving and burning tons of tree tops and limbs. The ash pile in the back yard is almost as tall as me and at much greater in diameter! I would have tons of potash for my soap making if it wasn't mostly pine. After all my tree rescues I didn't think it would be prudent for me to ask the men to burn two separate piles! Hardwood ash makes the best lye. The funny thing is I had salvaged a big pile of apple wood (the best for lye) and had it drying in the sun. The tree man was very kind to keep most of the tops in the burn pile so we had less to clean up with our small tractor. Well one day he scooped up my pile and burned it thinking he was helping! Steve was pretty glad he got rid of the pile while I stood looking at the spot with my mouth open. Oh well, apple trees have to be trimmed sometime!

I had the electric and phone company come to remove the lines for the day so that he could fall trees across the driveway. So we were without power for a day and the phone would have to wait because they wanted to bury the line and reground the new line to try and help out Internet problems. The next day the gas line was hit as he fell a very large pine on the road side. We knew it was going to be the hardest to get out, but one of the more important since it blocked our view to the very busy road we live on. When the gas company came out to shut off the gas, he said sorry now that it is broken you have to replace the line all the way to the house and then took our meter! So for the next week we heated water for the kids (and me occas.) sent the kids next door and took cold showers! I was so happy to get the hot water back. I am rethinking my position that hot water is a luxury! Anyway, they could not hook up the phone until the gas line was finished. So no Internet for 2 weeks.

Well that is enough rambling for tonight, my fingers are cramping!

Who do I want to be?

2009-07-02T15:20:00.003-05:00

Okay so I just get this crazy forward text about how wonderful women/mothers/sisters are and I had a revelation! Hard to believe that a sappy text could help me define my life but it happened. In one short statement at that! Are you ready? It has a bad word.:-) Okay you were warned, here goes! I want to be the woman that when my eyes open in the morning the devil says "Oh crap, she's up!"

Working 9 to 5

2009-05-16T22:10:00.001-05:00

Well if you have followed my blog for a while then you know this is one of my favorite nights of the whole year! I absolutely eat up the make-up, costume, hair and frenzy that comes with recital night. It is our girls night. I get to devote my attention to her and she loves it. I dress her up for rehearsal night and we get lots of one on one time. Then on recital night, Grandmother comes and does the dress up part spending time with her. She was more nervous this year. I think she has finally figured out that there are LOTS of people in the audience besides mommy, daddy and grandmother.

This was S's 5th year so she got her 5th year trophy . That was huge in her little life. Many of the girls have been in this together since they were 3, so there was a lot of talk and anticipation! She will talk about the trophy anyone that stands still long enough to hear her. So be wary if you see her soon.

They danced to the old "Working 9 to 5" song with Dolly Parton this year. I said it hurt a mommy's heart to see her looking so grown up and mature. But really fast forward 20 years and this may be what she will look like. I think I prefer the tutu look, but she really felt grown up for this dance. Can't wait to see what we do next year.

A Sad Loss

2009-04-21T12:00:00.005-05:00

Well, it has been a while since I blogged. We have been in a real funk around here. I went to my first OB appt. in mid-March. They did an u/s to rule out a twin pregnancy. (I grow really fast, usually measuring a month to 6 weeks ahead of schedule.) When they did the u/s there was no heartbeat and a sack that was too small for my dates. I quickly figured in my head and according to the u/s I would not have been pregnant when I took the home pregnancy test. They wanted to repeat the u/s in 4 weeks. I knew this would be a very long 4 weeks.

In the meantime I got sick and ran a fever of almost 103. This prompted another visit. They repeated the u/s and talked with me at length about a very possible miscarriage. In a week the sack had only grown the equivalent of 2 days. So they scheduled another appt. for repeat u/s in a week.

The next u/s showed the sack had collapsed completely. But the doctor wanted to wait because my hormone level was still so high it indicated my body was still supporting a pregnancy. He said he had had 2 other ladies in his long career that had similar findings and suddenly they were able to see the baby on u/s when it was not visible before. (like when they only see one baby and actually there are twins.) So we waited another week for the next u/s.

I don 't want to be too graphic and I will spare you most of the details but I think mostly women read my blog anyway. So I will tell you I began spotting before the next visit. At this visit the doc just talked with me about how I was feeling and what was happening. He explained that he was worried about an ectopic pregnancy either in the f. tubes or abdomen. At this point he did not feel like it was cancerous pregnancy called trophoblastic disease. So we set up a recheck u/s the following week. He warned me to let him know if I had any unusual abdominal pain. So I spent the next week wondering if every twinge was "unusual".

The last u/s showed no new baby and now a funny spot on my right ovary. At this point he became very concerned for me. He ordered STAT blood work, which means the lab that had been taking overnight to get results would be available in 2 hours. (I don't even want to know how much this costs!) At this point he was thinking it might be an abdominal pregnancy or the cancerous trophoblastic disease in my abdomen (both are really bad). He said if my levels were not down he would need to do a D&C in the morning with a laproscopic surgery to look at my ovary. So I went home and began furiously cleaning the house to get my mind off it all. Well, God provided a distraction or Satan provided a complication! I was stung by a red wasp in my house! This really did take my mind off things for a little while. Then the doc called and was much relieved because my levels had really fallen. So we avoided the surgery and would wait for my body to resolve the lost baby. As far as the ovary goes. He wanted to follow up lab work every week and recheck by u/s in 4 weeks. He warned me that my ovary could rotate due to the weight of the mass on it. He said this would need immediate attention if it happened. He said it would hurt really bad- "not the kind you look at your husband and say I wonder if we should do something about this, but the kind where you say get me help now!"

Well, after all the drama and repeated u/s I decided I was going to wait this one out. I was already spotting and every 3-4 days it seemed to pick up a little. He said I would bleed a lot because of the endometrial lining that had formed over the last 3 months. So I figured a little for several weeks and I would not get anemic. Well, I was in Target yesterday when it all began. It was a nightmare to say the least. Steve said only I would go ahead and check out! But I did and went to the school and picked up the kids and stopped by the post office . Then went straight home and to bed. I had began cramping on the way home and was really glad to lay down. S is old enough to watch the younger two and let me rest. I had called S on the way home to let him know what was going on and hoping he would get to come home a little early. I must say I was not prepared for what came next. They had warned me of heavy bleeding and "cramping", just like a heavy period. HAH! I was doubled over crying in pain. I think the only reason I did not scream was because of the poor terrified look on my daughters face every time she came to check on me. I could not even call the neighbor to come get the kids for me. I kept telling S to take the boys and go next door, but she was so scared for me she would not leave. She called S and asked when he would be home. Fortunately, he was on his way. When he got here he called a friend to come pick up the kids and then called the on call doc. He said I could hurt a lot and that if it did not resolve in an hour we should go to the ER for an emergency D&C. Fortunately it did not last that much longer. I was even thinking I needed an ambulance at one point! I did natural childbirth with S until they had to do an emergency c-section after 19 hours of labor and I handled it much better than the miscarriage. I guess it had to do with the emotions involved in both. Anyway, it is all over now. I was about a 4 hour ordeal that I hope I never have to repeat. I am worn out today and went to the doctor again. He said everything looks good and I will still get the follow up u/s for the ovary.

I will keep you updated, but I don't expect to blog for week or two while we grieve the loss of our precious baby. But I do want to tell you about a converstaion with little S. She looked at me one day and said, "Mommy, do you think Mor-Mor will take care of this baby if it goes to heaven?" I said, "Yes, I think Mor-Mor and Minnie will love rocking this baby and taking care of it for us until we get to heaven." She then said as she took my hand "That makes me feel a lot better."
John 10:28-30

Growing in too many ways!!!

2009-03-16T22:32:00.003-05:00

Okay, I now have the cure for that tapeworm desire! Our cute new puppy has had them and let me just say GROSS!!!!! Oh yuck!!!! There are very few things that gross this nurse out but wow! Worms do the trick. I have shivered and danced and nearly thrown up. I have done more laundry simply because it touched the floor where the dog was. I have washed floors, hands, faces and more repeatedly. I DO NOT WANT A TAPEWORM!!!!!! See these little segments break off the end of the worm and this is what lays the eggs. This little segment moves like an amoeba or maybe and inch worm and as it gyrates around it is laying invisible eggs. Thousand of them! Makes me shiver just typing it. And there are dozens of them!!! I do not want that in my body! If I could get a tapeworm that did not do that I might think about it again. But I think I will go back on weight watchers in November and be happy to count those points! God has interesting ways of teaching us things. So thanks God, got the message!

Our family continues to grow in many ways!

2009-03-12T16:24:00.003-05:00

Well I guess if you looked at the ticker above you have already figured out that we are expecting baby #4!!!! We were shocked but once it wore off we became very excited. I never thought I would have this many kids! Mom always said she thought we should have at least four. So I know she would be happy for us. Growing up I thought it was ridiculous that there were four of us! Almost every other family I knew only had two kids. We had twice that many and I was old enough that it was often a "pain" to have little ones around. I often felt "put out". Well, which one would I have gotten rid of? That would have depended on the day! Some days all three! But I think the feeling was mutual for all of us! Anyway, now I can not imagine my life without one of my sibs. We are all close and enjoy being together. (Although there are days...)

So why have we decided to have "so many" kids? Well I don't really know. I argued with God when I found out I was pregnant with J. If I had won we would not have him today. Wow what a blessing I would have missed! We all love him so much and he adds so much to our lives. So I trust God and His perfect wisdom with our family. I trust that this new little one is His perfect will for us and we accept him of her eagerly. And as far as large families go, we are still a smaller family in our church!!! (And no, it is not Catholic it is Baptist!)

So how else is the family growing? Well if we aren't crazy enough already, we adopted a rescue puppy this weekend. We went to the local pet store this weekend and saw a few dogs. One in particular stood out among the rest. When J wrapped his arms around the little girl, she stood perfectly still and waited. She won us all over and after going home and sleeping on the idea and talking it over and praying about it, we decided to go for it! She is 4 months old white with golden patches with some black mixed in and one eye is partially blue. The think she has some cattle dog in her and maybe some spaniel. Whatever she is made of, we love her to pieces. The kids talk about nothing else right now. I will try to post some pictures soon.

Still here!:-)

2009-02-12T12:34:00.003-06:00

Sorry I have not blogged in so long! I used to blog in the wee hours of the morning when it was just the baby and me awake. Now that sweet little thing sleeps almost all night every night. The little awakenings he does have are brief, just long enough to earn a place next to us in bed! They learn so early that I am a push over in the middle of the night. I do not like to wake up and when I do I am desperate to go back to sleep, so just about anything goes as long as mommy can close her eyes again.

So now I am left trying to find time to blog. So why today you might ask? Well we have all had the stomach bug and today as I was picking up my things to leave for work little man released all his tummy contents on us both! So we are home today. I am back in PJ's doing laundry and he finally went to sleep! The house is never this quiet! Makes me forget the big to do list! Oh well, it will only last another hour or two! Then I'll have my brain back on thinking of what I could get done if only the baby would lay down for a nap. :-D

I say baby very flippantly the little man is 18 months old now. He runs around chasing the bigger kids and loves to be outside. We have this great back porch with railing all with the door open. We smile at each other through the screen as we both "fix up" our kitchen. around. I lock the gate and he plays with his ride on toy or the toy kitchen while I work in the kitchen. In the yard he likes to slide but hates to swing. I have never seen a kid hate a swing before. It absolutely terrifies the poor kid. So we walk around a lot looking at all the nice leaves (tongue in cheek here)!

Steve and I have been busy getting the land ready to have trees cut to begin the barn. I took out the back fence over the last 2 weekends earning myself a nice tetanus shot! It is an old wire fence that I have had to cut into sections I can handle. Not sure what to do with the sections yet, but I am guessing they will find their way to the recycle center soon. Then we pull the post out which has been easier than I thought because they are pretty rotted out. One was almost rotted in half at the ground. We did find a nice little treasure of pretty red brick my grandparents were using as some sort of retaining wall. The whole area is level now and we actually had to dig them out of the ground. They are in pretty good shape and we will use them in my garden later. So what is Steve doing all this time? Riding around on his new tractor. I keep telling him I want to ride around while he cuts, clears old fence line, drags it across the yard and pulls up posts, but alas I am scared of the bush hog. I don't think he would really appreciate me just joy riding while he works! I did try to use the scooping bucket on the front to move a pile of debris. I worked really hard and when I went to dump it - nothing was in the bucket! So I guess that needs a little more practice.

Sarah made Honor Roll and Hogan would if they got grades in K. He is reading at the highest tested level for his grade. I imagine he would test higher if they scored higher than they do. He loves words, letters, and rhymes. Sarah is already having to negotiate the girl world. I hear all kinds of stories! Girls can just be mean! They don't talk to each other then talk mean. Seems ridiculous to me. But I am sure my sweet angel is completely innocent. I do talk to her about being a good friend, so hopefully it sinks in. Sometimes I wish I could just watch and listen without them knowing I was there. It is hard to guide your child.

Well, that sums us up in a nutshell. I promise to try to do better!

Out of the mouth of babes.

2008-12-22T21:55:00.004-06:00

Tonight S and H were sitting on the bed watching little J for me while I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. I could hear them talking and S was telling J a story to keep him happy. She told him the he was a special gift and that mommy was so happy when she had him. Over and over she kept telling him what a special gift he was and then she added that H and herself were also special gifts that mommy was so happy to have. I smiled thinking how right she was and how happy I am that she knows it. It made me pause and think that we are all special gifts! Each one of us is a special gift. I think as adults we forget that too often. So I hope you will remember how special you are! God created you, to be you, "in His image". How wonderful is that?

Great Understandings

2008-12-22T21:55:00.000-06:00

2008-12-16T21:34:00.002-06:00

Yesterday evening we said good-bye to my great-aunt. She had married one of my grandmother's brothers. The two couples lived next door to each other for years on land homesteaded by my grandmother's family. After both their husbands died they continued to be in-laws and friends. They were actually more like sisters. They checked on each other frequently and helped each other out. When I moved in with my grandmother to attend a local college, I entered their world. Funny how a young college age girl could have so much fun with these two. I would take them to Wendy's almost every week and we would eat 99 cent hamburgers and frosties. Then when Steve and I got married we would take the two of them out to eat with my other great aunt! We really had fun. I have missed those days for years now.

Now for some funny stories about these two women. They were OLD school. Men were the answer. No matter the question! They would ask me things all the time and never believed me. They would ask me several times and change the question around as if to trip me up or interrogate me! Then finally I would catch them asking Steve. Even when he answered the same way I did, they acted as if they had never heard that information before. Honestly, I don't think they heard me!!!! Drove me crazy! Steve and I would laugh and laugh later! I think it gave him a big head!

My great aunt was convinced that the water tower by a hospital was really nuclear waste or medicine! I was never able to convince her otherwise and I don't think Steve was able to change her mind either. She would talk about it EVERY time we drove by it!

The most shocking moment came when they found a book I was returning to the library. I had read almost everything else this author had written and was surprised when it became very graphic. I was sitting at Steve's office and was so embarrassed that my face must have glowed bright red! I was sure everyone knew what trash I had just read! I slammed the book shut and took it to my car. The plan was to return it to the library the next day. Well, that was not before my grandmother and great aunt went somewhere with me. My grandmother spotted the book before we even left the driveway! I quickly explained that it was not suitable reading material and I was returning it! That was all these dear Godly women needed to hear! They giggle and my grandmother opened the book to a horribly graphic section and began reading out loud!!!! I was so embarrassed! They were just laughing and laughing and reading and reading! I could not believe it! I think they really enjoyed my embarrassment! I have never read another trashy novel again though! (I think that was their point exactly!)

So I too shall miss this wonderful woman that taught me so many things. Checked on us if she did not see our car or lights when she thought she should. Called me to tell me I was mowing way to late and how I surely could no longer see! Made sure we took good care of our dogs. Lived as a Godly example. And simply loved us as extended family.

Anne I was honored to assist you in your last days and moments! You will be greatly missed.

Not quite a Hallmark moment!

2008-12-09T22:48:00.003-06:00

I guess I have watched too many "Little House on the Prairie" shows! I have been looking forward to decorating for Christmas for days. I have pictured in my head hot apple cider, cookies, Christmas music, happy cute children and smiling adoring parents all decorating the tree in perfect harmony. I think we are even dressed nicely in the dream. Well, that is not how it unfolded for us! First of all S ran out of hot water while showering tonight which caused a rather loud ending to the shower (she was all soapy!). Then H was just too tired and excited to listen to ANYTHING! J broke at least one ornament because the one that couldn't listen did not know we were telling him not to put the ornaments on the floor in big piles! So Josiah proceeds to walk on them to get to the one he wants to play with. Daddy was not in the best of spirits by this time and I was completely tangled in garland, lights and ribbon that I was trying to get on the mantle. (I also had this dream of a beautifully decorated mantle...) So in the end we have a half decorated tree and mostly decorated mantle and three fairly happy children. We will get to finish the project over the next couple of days and that will make them happy. Maybe Thursday night I can manage the hot apple cider and cookies!

The Saga continues still!

2008-12-01T23:27:00.002-06:00

Did you see the last post with our pretty smiling faces? Well I guess that was the eye of the storm! The strep returned for a second round and somewhere in there I have had mono! No wonder I am too tired at night to post! I was falling asleep as soon as the kids went to bed! But the worst part has been the baby. He had RSV and we drug him to TN! He was a trooper and really did not act all that sick. We got home from a great weekend of shopping and fun on Wed. night around 10pm. We had company the following day for Thanksgiving with turkey, dressing and the trimmings. (I even used the china!) Then the following day he ran 105 fever. Yes 105.0! I panicked! You would think I know nothing about medicine with my own kids. The problem is I know all too well what it might possibly be (all the million really bad things!). Well his seems to just be an old virus and he is recovering. He is very cranky now and I suppose he is feeling well enough to complain now. So.. here is to hoping - AGAIN- that the illnesses are at their end! I have scrubbed this house from one end to the other! (Not that you can tell at the moment!) :-)

But seriously we are pretty good. We have missed a lot of socail engagements but it is nice to be home as well. I have been working hard on organizing. We have a free garage "sale" coming up this weekend so I am cleaning out closets and toys. It just seems to make such a bigger mess during the process! But our house is the potty break house so I have to keep it fairly neat!

One of those days!

2008-10-27T13:44:00.000-05:00

You know what I am talking about. Every once in a while you get a storybook day! Well we had one of those days yesterday. My sister and her family invited us to join them and their church for a family day at a local farm. So we all wore bluejeans to church and headed out immediately after. We arrived a little late and most people had already eaten, so we gobbled a few hot dogs, chips and cookies while fighting the neighborhood bees that had gathered for the sweet occasion. Then we set off to enjoy nature and man-made country entertainment. We took a hayride, played in a haystack, visited the pumpkin patch, rode the "John Deere 2000Express" (little carts pulled by a John Deere lawn mower) took canoe rides, rode zip-cords in the woods, and swung on an old wooden pole type swing where you push the swing around the pole and then let it go! The kids had a blast. They found baby chicks (half grown), rabbits, puppies, and kittens in the petting zoo and horses in the corral. They ran and played with their cousins with the freedom a country farm and church friends permits. The weather was perfect and the leaves are beginning to show their beautiful fall colors.
When we came home, after stopping for ice cream, I cooked dinner including cooking a pumpkin pie from scratch. This meant baking a pie pumpkin and mixing all the wonderful smelling spices together! The kids played outside while Steve played on his new tractor. Then we had happy bath times and Steve helped me finish the laundry! I went to bed with a wonderful smile! I hope you have a storybook day soon!

Could it be my profession?

2008-10-21T21:10:00.003-05:00

Well, I think someone has been ill in our house for at least 3 months. Steve first battled his diverticulitis, which he seems to have licked. He has avoided surgery - so far. They say he has an 80-85% chance of it returning and if it does then they believe he will have to have the surgery.
Then I got sick. Now not to give you TMI but it was tummy issues and not of the throwing up kind. The kids got it as well and it lasted for 2-3 weeks. Then the real stomach bug ran through the house with the whole works. I think we all got several hours with that nice little bug!
Then poor baby got it. He had diarrhea for 3 weeks with some interspersed vomiting. One night he had to have a diaper change every hour. His little bottom was so red! We tried every diaper cream you can imagine. Finally his pediatrician suggested A&D ointment, Nystatin, and hydrocortisone cream. This alone smelled so bad he stunk whether he was dirty or not! Then he stopped drinking all together. He got so dehydrated he couldn't take 2 steps before he fell. So we went to the hospital and got IV fluids and lab work done. Over the next couple of days he improved. Finally today he returned to Mother's Day Out. But still would not eat much for them. So as mommy I felt sorry for the poor hungry guy and thought I would tempt him with a powdered doughnut. Well it wasn't that he was to sick to eat, but that they did not feed him doughnuts! You should have seen him laughing and cramming them in his mouth! So for diner he got spaghetti, green beans and squash! And he ate all that as well. So I think he is one the mend.
But we don't end the saga there. Sunday Sarah woke up complaining of a headache. We went on to church and then worked in the yard (that's another blog!!!) for a little while. When we started getting ready for church Sunday night she began looking sick and became clingy. She had a fever so I kept the kids home noticing that my head hurt a little and had a scratchy throat. In the middle of the night Sarah woke me up and said her throat felt all knotted up, just like mine. But the next morning she seemed much better and get this, begged to go to school. So like a good mom/nurse I let her and went to work myself. Well today when I couldn't eat, I go ingeniously thought I should have a strep test. So I wait until after the morning was over and had the nurse swab my throat (I hate that!). Yup - it's strep. So now Sarah and I are on antibiotics and hopefully will feel better soon. I really hope this is the end of the illness, but I am not holding my breath. They should really tell you about all this as you apply to nursing school!

Why I don't use the library or watch debates!

2008-10-07T20:57:00.002-05:00

This week I spent $10.00 on 5 little quirky DVD's I helped my kids check out from the library. For $10.00 I could have rented 3 new releases from the local video store, I could have paid 2/3's of our monthly netflix bill for as many movies as we could watch and mail! TEN DOLLARS and the movies were just recorded cartoons!!!! Aughhhh! I have always had terrible luck with the library. I am trying to teach my children a love for reading. I am trying to set a good example and open up their minds while mine remains slammed shut! I once paid $20 or $30 dollars for an outdated house plan paperback book that my puppy simply put teeth marks in. I was honest and expected to pay a small damage fine. Well was I ever wrong. I was required to purchase the library a new house plan book and then pay them to do it! The crazy book was around $10.00! I was so mad it was years before I darkened their doors again. I have countless stories like this! So what did I do about my late fees? I paid them when the kids were in school! They get to enjoy the movies another week now! Hopefully they won't learn my deep rooted resentment at a great American establishment.

Which leads me to the next subject. Debates. I really do not like them. I try to listen but find myself blogging or daydreaming or sleeping! I feel like they sound like little kids tattling on each other. Ask any kid that knows me very well and they are likely to tell you I do not like tattling! Go outside and duke it out, but don't tattle to me! Use your skills to work things out, don't tattle to me!!!! I get so tired of the "he said, he did, but I was so much more wonderful routine"! I can listen to talk radio but struggle with debates. Oh well, I know who I am voting for anyway! I think she could run across the stage necked and I would cheer her on!!!! I love her!!!! I wish I could be more like her!!!! Who cares what the boys are arguing about! HEHEHE!

Can you believe it is October?!

2008-10-04T22:47:00.002-05:00

Time in this house just flies by. It seems I wake up and whole weeks have gone by. I remember in the August heat thinking and October day would feel so good. Well those days do feel great but where did September go?
I am keeping the windows open a lot right now and suffering with allergies because of it but we just can't help it! I have an attic fan in this house and LOVE it. I know there are a million and one reasons not to run one, but I can't help that either. I throw caution to the wind (literally). I open the windows and turn the fan on and just stand there and feel the cool breeze. It is absolutely glorious. It energizes me so much that my house is fairly clean! Amazing I know. I have 4 big trouble areas right now and am working on a plan to tackle those since the holidays are fast approaching.
Ouch, did I just mention holidays? I did and I have started my shopping and don't have a clue when or where anyone will celebrate, but have decided on which china set to use! Now that's the important part right? For Thanksgiving I am going to use my grandma's aka Minnie. It has a sweet pine branch and pine cones on it. The color is white with kinda brown pine branch and cone with some light blue. I used to think it was out of date and ugly and now I love it. It will be nice to use with the pretty blue stemware my mom and sisters got me for my birthday a few years ago. For Christmas I think it will be mom's china since it has the most and it just seems right. I think I feel like she is some how present when I use it. I guess she is represented. Her china I white on white which makes for a very pretty Christmas table. I miss them both terribly and treasure their things.
Now before the holidays and after the cool weather begins something monumental happens at this house. That's right remember the leaves. I do! I am trying to get the yard in order to receive the bountiful colorful leaves that will soon grace it's surface. The grass is being mowed and sticks from the hurricane are being piled high. I am hoping to make raking/blowing easier this year. I also think I will do a little along the way instead of waiting until it is done to start. Poor Steve has helped where he can but just has not had a good couple of months. I hope he is better before the onslaught!

Blankets, Blankets, and more Blankets!

2008-09-24T23:07:00.003-05:00

I just came back from Bartlesville, OK again! I returned to volunteer at VOM with two other friends. Once again we had an amazing time. The freenzy of the Pray for China bracelets was over and things were much more calm. We actually went to eat and had some free time. We meet more interesting people that come to volunteer.

But one of the best things this time was helping one friend take all her blankets. 86 to be exact. This amazing lady collected 86 blankets in 6 weeks. Washed, folded, sorted and packed enough blankets to completely fill the back half of my van. VOM sends these blankets to the Sudan to refugees. Sometimes the blanket is their only possession. If they are fortunate enough to have other possessions then they often use the blanket to hold and carry everything in. The people that distribute the blankets say it is truly a blessing to these people. If you would like to help my friend with blankets let me know. They request $2 per blanket to help with shipping cost.

Doing Better

2008-09-18T21:25:00.002-05:00

Well, Steve came home and for the first time in about 6 weeks reported no pain! I have not ever seen him down for this long. For a couple of weeks he would go to work for about 3-4 hours and come home and go to bed. He has lost 12 or so pounds and is just now eating better. I know he is tired of potato soup! I have peeled lots of them lately! Anyway, he is now trying to decide whether or not to follow through with the surgery. He had two docs say they won't have it until it came back again. But the surgeon says it is recommended that he have the surgery before he has a bad bout and needs emergency surgery. Risk factors go way up if you are sick enough for emergency surgery. So since he was one step away from surgery this time and sick for so long, I think he is leaning toward the surgery. We shall see though because he gets dizzy and sweaty just talking about the surgery! MEN!!!

I am headed back to VOM this weekend. Two other ladies from the last trip and I are going together. We are looking forward to the time together and of course volunteering. One of the girls has collected over 70 blankets to donate. They send the blankets to the Sudan for refugees. I just hope we can get them all in the van! Once they are there though they will have a smooth ride. I had to replace front and back brakes, front roters, get 4 new tires and a front end alignment this week! OUCH! Fortunately the van is paid off, so that makes repairs a little easier! It drives great again though!

Sarah is loving 2nd grade and Hogan is adjusting to K. He likes it just not EVERY day! They have both made friends and are doing well on the school work.

Josiah is walking! Can you believe it? He is good enough now to bend over and pick something up off the floor, stand back up and not fall! It happens so fast! He says mama, dada, bye, uh-oh, thank you and ohhhh. Too cute!

Quick update

2008-09-12T22:02:00.003-05:00

I am sitting here barely able to keep my eyes open so this will be brief.
Steve just got home from the hospital tonight. He was admitted Wednesday afternoon for severe abdominal pain. He had been undergoing treatment for diverticulitis for the past 4 weeks. He would get better then worse and never well. Monday he had his 3rd CT and then on Tuesday he had a Barium Swallow Upper GI with small bowel follow through. Tuesday night he had enough pain that we almost went to the ER. So Wed they decided to admit him. The colonoscopy looked like things were healing. He is still having pain, but not as severe. They changed his medicine and sent us home. We are glad to be home and grateful that he did not have to have emergency surgery. They are recommending surgery when he gets well. We are just hoping the getting well comes quickly. Please pray that his pain resolves and he heals completely.

Gag a maggot!

2008-08-19T22:17:00.003-05:00

Okay, I don't even know how that little phrase resurfaced in our house, but I revived it one evening! Steve and I were sitting around talking about the conversation I had with the babysitter that day. You know how you think you are still young until you talk to a real young person! Well the age gap was really in my face! To begin with she was not even born when we got married! Then she tells me that she just recently learned that Toby Mac (one of my favorite artist) was in - are you ready for this- DC Talk! I laughed and said yeah that's where he started. I told her about the open air concert they did in our small town my 1st or 2nd year of college. So of course that was before they made it big! She thought that was cool and then insulted me to the bone! She said yeah and the Newsboys are another old group!!!! Can you believe that! The Newsboys are not an old group - at least not in my book. Now Keith Green, Larry Norman, Dallas Holmes,Striper or even Amy Grant I could understand that comment. But not the Newsboys and especially when compared with DC Talk!

Well, I digress, we were talking about gagging a maggot. As we talk we look up several of these "old" groups on iTunes. There was one in particular that my boyfriend (stay calm Shannon, it is only a reference here)at the time loved. Well, I could not stand the guy's voice. I called him Elmer Fud! Steve had never heard him so we pull him up on iTunes and play several seconds of some songs and after about the 3rd or 4th song this old saying just jumped out of my mouth! We both got a good laugh that old music could conger up old sayings so easily. I guess it is like groovy and 70's music - which by the way is old!!!! Heehee!!

I love Sunday!

2008-08-17T21:18:00.002-05:00

Sunday has become my favorite day. I love our church and our pastors. I love praise and worship and then just listening to these men preach! Every sermon seems to be just tailor made for me. Today was no exception. Kyle preached on how powerful God is and that He still heals. He talked about how God is our everything. God is my everything. He is the giver of all that is good in my life. How grateful I am. He had an alter call and prayed for people while annoiting with oil. There were some really powerful prayers prayed that are not heard in many churches anymore. I wanted to jump up and down shouting my love for my God! I thought about the highland people jumping up and down shouting thier praises to God in the "Underground Reality: Vietnam" video I posted about a few days ago! I can not tell you how badly I want to be involved in that type of worship. I have experienced similar praise before, but it has been so long. It almost feels like not having a drink of water in years! God is so good to us, why do we act so stiff? It reminds me of an apathetic, spoiled child that has too much. I so do not want to be that way. I want to express my joy and thanksgiving. I want to worship, praise and dance like David! God is doing a mighty work - watch out!

17 years and counting with the love of my life!

2008-08-17T00:17:00.001-05:00

Today was our 17th anniversary! I can't believe it has been seventeen years since we walked the aisle. We were so young and clueless as to what it took to make it as a couple - a happy couple. Well, life has a way of teaching you the lessons doesn't it? We have been through many ups and downs in the last 17 years, but I must say we are a happier, stronger couple at this point. We have gained wisdom and patience. I think it is so cool to know we love each other more now than on that exciting day in 1991! God has truly blessed me with a wonderful Godly man. He is my earthly rock and right hand. And he gave up the debate tonight to take me to dinner and the movies!

Pray for China

2008-08-14T21:37:00.008-05:00

That was our theme during our Voice of the Martyr's (VOM) trip. You can find out more about the theme here. I don't even know how to begin to tell you about all that God did during those few short days. God started on me several weeks before the trip. He began dealing with me about complacency and how I as a "good Christian girl" I seem to be too afraid or lazy to fulfill the Great Commission. The list of excuses is a mile high and oh how it must reek in His presence. He also began to remind me that we fight a spiritual fight with a very real and powerful Satan. Fortunately, He is much more powerful than Satan, but we have to tap into His power through the Holy Spirit. I was also struggling with the fact that I have my kids in public school when most of my friends have theirs in either private school or home school them.

Well, fast forward to our trip. We leave the church around 1:30 after a quick prayer. We travel and visit getting to know each other better. When we go through the toll booths, we have exact change, but we decide to actually go through the booth with an attendant and tell them to "Pray for China"! We stop to eat and tell our waiter a little about our trip, I give him my prayer bracelet and we find out he is in college to be a missionary! His friend comes and asks for a bracelet too!

I get up early the next morning to read my bible (really trying to read everyday!). I get ready and also take a walk. I am so excited I can't see straight. I have wanted to make this trip for about 10 years! I walk and pray and sing and just enjoy God's presence, His sunrise and the exercise.

First we go to the main office for a tour. It is so fascinating to see. An Eagle Scout made a room into a replica of an underground church meeting room. There are pictures of persecuted Christians and their stories everywhere. We receive a lot of material and ask question and buy material in the book store. Then we arrive go to the warehouse and find out that we will be working on prayer bands for China. We begin taping the little grey bracelets to cards to be stuffed in envelopes and labeled and mailed. We tape and tape and tape then we stuff and stuff and stuff....! We lose a lot of steam after lunch. There are 9 of us and about 4 other volunteers that we are getting to know. We break for dinner and decide to come back to the warehouse and work late. When we return the room is full of local volunteers! This is so exciting it re energized us and we worked quickly again. We talk to so many new people and start meeting staff that work in the main office. We soon realize that we have come at a very unique time. There is such a demand for the 750,00 bracelets that it is taking all hands on deck to get them out before the Olympics. Staff is pouring in to help. We are able to sit and talk to these incredible people for hours. And talk we do. They are probably so glad we are gone!

I can't post everything we talked about because so much of it is sensitive! But I will say that God put each of us at strategic places. He seemed to meet our needs so specifically and individually. I was blessed to sit by some incredible people. God really opened my eyes to how complacent we really are. Here I sit so comfortable and happy. I have no threat to my Christianity except my own mind. There is no danger in me telling other people about my God or what He has done for me and I shy away so many many times! We begin hearing story after story of people that risk everything to go to a church meeting or endure more torture to tell the persecutor that God loves them too! That evening I walk and cry as I pray.

The next morning I miss the sunrise but walk and pray and praise God. We then go to devotion with the VOM staff. It is incredible. I read the poem I posted last week. Then we pray for several highlighted persecuted Christians. I want to get on the floor and lay prone and wail and pray! The presence of the Lord is so strong it is palpable! Then we listen to Tom White, the President of VOM, talk about evil, and modern day safe houses and numerous other things. I feel so humbled, guilty and motivated! Then we go tape, stuff, and label. And we get another glorious day with the staff. We again work late.

The last morning I walk and pray. We work and dread leaving that afternoon. We had a great ride home though. We handed out more prayer bands and told everyone we saw to "PRAY FOR CHINA". (We fully expect there to be revival among OK toll booth workers!) We laughed and talked about all God had done and sang praise songs. Our favorite song came off a DVD we watched featuring 8 kids that smuggled bibles into Vietnam. When they went to deliver the bibles to a very remote village, the people were gathered together praising God at the top of their voices singing, "Alleluia Amen! Alleluia Amen! Alleluia Amen! Alleluia Amen!" It was the most incredible worship service I have ever seen and I long to be a part of that kind of worship! You can check out the video here.

Keep praying because God is not done yet!!!!

God knows EVERYTHING!!!!

2008-08-11T01:07:00.004-05:00

This adorable face is the one God blessed us with one year ago on the 8th. If I had had my way, I would have been sucessful in talking God out of this great blessing. I am ashamed now that I ever thought I couldn't handle such a priveledge as raising a third child. Oh, I had my reasons and I lined them all up before God. But you know, God looked beyond my immediate crisis and smiled knowingly and sent this little guy into our lives. Now, we all smile when this little one looks at us. It is so great that God knows more than us! If only we could get our little ideas out of the way and trust God! (I am working on this with great determination!) So,Thank you God, for sending such a wonderful blessing our way. I praise you for the joy you have added to our lives in such abundance. I pray we will be faithful to raise him for your service. Grant us wisdom for his sake. Watch over him and keep him close to you and your protection. Give him a deep desire and longing for you all his life. Guide his steps and guard his heart. Forgive me for my doubt. Amen.

Wow and Wow!!!

2008-08-05T23:24:00.002-05:00

I am currently in OK serving at the Voice of the Martyrs! I am exhausted and my spirit is so full I can't even begin to tell you! I won't post much tonight, but have a poem that I read in devotion today. God has so been dealing with my heart on this subject and I was really struck today as I read. Maybe it will speak to you as well.

I Stand by the Door
by: Samuel Shoemaker

I stand by the door.
I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out,
The door is the most important door in the world-
It is the door through which men walk when they find God.
There's no use my going way inside, and staying there,
When so many are still outside and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where a door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind men,
With outstretched, groping hands,
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it...
So I stand by the door.

Lazy Day

2008-07-25T12:48:00.002-05:00

Today we are staying home. It is a rare occassion that we stay home all day long! But today is that day. We have watched way too much TV (all animal rescues by the way for our little animal lover). Some of us are still in PJs (not me:-) ) I am actually hanging laundry out to dry today and we have scavanged our lunch. The kids are in heaven and I am relaxed. I am considering slipping over to the pool with the kids when the baby wakes up for a quick swim. (Our neighbors have a pool we get to use!!!) But other than that there are no plans! It feels great! I think Sarah needs this day more than anybody. We have limited her activity, but she has still been out everyday for a few hours with me. We have made a point to come home an rest everyday, but she needs a little more down time still. She is wanting to return to the farm, so I figure resting more is the way to regain her strength quicker.

I am planning a quick trip to OK in a couple of weeks. I have been a huge fan of Voice of the Martyrs for many years now. I read their magazine from cover to cover as soon as I get it. I wear their T-shirts, have organized few action packs with a previous church group and talk about them all the time! Well, a group of ladies from my church are going to their headquarters in OK in August to volunteer for 3 days and I get to go! I am so excited. I will be working in the warehouse and could not be happier! I can't wait to meet the staff and see their place. I feel like I am going to work at the White House or something! But I believe their work is far more important than most things that happen just about anywhere else. I am grateful for our government and our freedom in religion. We take for granted the protection we have. I tell you all about it when I get back.

Thankful!

2008-07-18T22:54:00.003-05:00

I knew when I called Sarah and told her I thought I should come and get her early from the farm and horse riding and she said okay that she was pretty sick, I just did not know how sick! She had left on Wednesday and had complained of a tummy ache for a couple of days. I just thought it was excitement. She loves the farm and the horses. She lives, breathes and dreams of horses and has since she could talk. She likes riding them and caring for them including mucking the stalls! So when her aunt called and said she was not so thrilled to be cleaning the stalls I assumed it was the heat. They were getting up at 5:30 AM (that time does not happen at our house!) and working cows until late at night. They would rest in the heat of the day. But still it is pretty hot even at 10:00AM here. Then she was not responding to instruction, sitting in the truck instead of helping and then she told me she threw up. So on Sunday when her aunt called concerned that she was not eating well, I thought it was best to bring her home. They had work to do and Sarah would most likely slow them down like this. Within 30 minutes of telling Sarah we were coming to get her, another call came that she had a temp of 103. So we stopped to get more Motrin on the way.
She was burning up when we got there. We visited briefly and came home. She did not complain on time about leaving early. Once home she told me she had vomited several times. I was not sure I believed this since her aunt had not mentioned but once and it was more like she drank too much water too fast in the heat. So I asked her to tell me where she threw up and she proceeded to tell me exactly where and how many times. She said she did not tell anyone she threw up!!! She also complained of a sore throat. So, Monday morning I took her to the office and did a strep screen. It was negative, her exam was normal except the fever throat and tummy/headache. I did not even have the doc I work with look at her. I figured we would do some penicillin to cover for undetected strep, but assume it was viral. As we were leaving the doc came out. We briefly discussed her and she said check for mono. Well, the best way to do this way by lab draw. I was not going to test her myself. I don't like my kid stuck any more than any other mom. But the doc spoke, so I dutifully held her as she cried while having blood drawn. Thinking all the time, there is no treatment for mono. I'll know if she gets a rash on penicillin or if it does not get better and she sleeps a lot. We left and as we were driving to Sonic for a much needed treat, I began going over everything in my head again.
Suddenly, I remember the ticks! Seven as a matter of fact. All in the same day. Sarah had gone to the Adventure Camp at the local state park and came home with seven ticks one day. I call the office and ask if they have enough blood to run the titers. Not enough to run them all. So what is most important and will we have to do it all over again because I did not think of this before? (Why you should not treat your own kids!) So I tell the nurse to ask the doc and she starts her on antibiotics and picks two tests. Bingo! Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever was the word on Thursday! Praise God for good antibiotics and great docs! This is such a scary disease and my little girl was working cattle and not complaining on bit! This has made her daddy more determined than ever to try the horse thing here. This fall we will probably build a barn. In the meantime, Sarah is getting better by the day. She still is not eating really well, but asks for food several times a day now. She has not had fever since Wednesday and takes her medicine very reluctantly but obediently. She still tires very easy and we are keeping her in for the most part. She did go swimming tonight and will go to a birthday party tomorrow. Her little friend is spending the night and they have played with makeup and the Wii all afternoon. It is so good to see her laughing and talking and batting her eyelashes at her daddy with makeup smeared everywhere! Several years ago we might not have been so fortunate!

Wedding Bliss

2008-07-07T23:19:00.002-05:00

WARNING: This post is extremely long!!!

Okay, I think I have rested up from the wedding and the holiday weekend that followed. I didn't know I could get so tired just planning and hosting a rehearsal dinner! I don't know if it was the stress of hosting the bride's family and wanting to make a good impression, or the stress of wanting to make this a special event for both bride and groom, or just planning a dinner party for 50 people in a place I had never laid eyes on in a town 1 hour away from home. But boy was I tired! But of course we had a fabulous time. We got to see so many friends and family members from out of town. The problem is that there is never enough time to visit with everyone!

So, let me run down all the activities as briefly as I can. All week before I organized, planned and double checked supplies, lists, etc. etc. The Friday morning was crunch time. I loaded the kids and luggage. First we dropped Sarah off for her last day of Adventure Camp. Where she has learned about animals, edible plants and bugs! Yes, she ate them! Friday was the big day to hike the mountain and have a picnic. She went with two of her cousins so we had them to drop off as well. The Hogan, Josiah and I began the errands. We drove to pick up tons of table linens, last minute items at the grocery store, last minute clothing details etc. Then we raced to the church (remember 1 hour away!) My poor van was so stuffed the kids were all but hanging out the windows! Now don't overlook the fact that I had not ordered flowers for the center pieces because #1 I am cheap, #2 I thought flowers from grandma's plants would be so touching and #3 I just don't know what I was thinking! Anyway, you can guess, all the beautiful flowers on the plants at home were gone! So all the way to the next town, I am scoping out flowers. Anna even ran across the street and made a dear neighbor stop cutting another neighbors flowers so we could have them! She was yelling, running and waving her arms! (Desperate times call for desperate measures.) I swiped some from work and we even picked some from the side of the road! All in all it was Anna's mother-in-law who saved the day by bringing in the perfect colored crepe myrtle blooms!

At the church a friend meet me and we began moving tables setting them and putting together center pieces. The caterer arrived and brought the most delicious food ever! And Pam brought not one but two cakes for dessert. One was Josh's favorite, fresh apple cake and the other was Italian cream cake. They were both 3 layers tall and decorated like wedding cakes! Beautiful and delicious also. Then another friend arrived and helped me pull it all together and serve. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL, if I do say so myself. And do I have a picture, no! :-( Maybe someone else will.

Finally back at the hotel, the 3 sisters take all the kids swimming while the brothers-in-law take Josh out for a bachelors night out. (They are so wild, they went to Starbucks!!!) Anyway we let the kids swim until about 11pm, big mistake. My precious little girl came undone! She cried from the time I got her out of the pool, through the shower and until she fell asleep! Anyway, we all had a blast so I guess it was worth it. Next morning we get up and Steve has errands to run for Josh and himself so I get all the kids ready and myself and head to the reception hall to check on the groom's cake and punch. Pam brought the cake and had it set up before I got there. It had a De Loren model on top. Now I tell you that because for some odd reason (uh, I mean good reason) Josh sent the gold model. Now everyone knows De Loren are stainless steel which means silver. Well, gold is the color he sent. So in order to match the car to the cake stand, I had to get an enormous size stand. So we have a nice size cake on an enormous stand. But it matches. So we do like any normal person and fill in the space with grapes, strawberries, and chocolate covered strawberries, and of course dollies. All in all it was really nice. Then we help the bride's team do a few things before racing to the church, just in time for the wedding.

The flower girls, are Sarah and Brianna, and Makalya and Emily. They are so cute. Sarah takes Brianna by the hand and they take about 5 steps when Brianna decides she does not want to leave the flower pedals on the ground. So she whips around and begins to pick them up. Sarah of course removes them from her hands and throws them back down. So now Brianna thinks this is a game and gathers more petals from the basket, throws them down takes a few steps then returns to pick them up. By this time Sarah is tugging on Brianna's hand trying to still smile. So Brianna sits down (I assume so she has more leverage to keep from being drug down the isle) and dumps all the petals out and carefully begins to put the back in the basket. By now, I am involved trying to negotiate and do so discretely. We do manage to come to some agreement and they slowly make it down the isle. Well!!!, Emily has been watching this whole thing and begins her own throw and pick up routine. Fortunately, she is easier to convince to go on down that isle!

The wedding was beautiful. The church was beautiful and of course Monica was beautiful. Then to the reception which was over the top! More wonderful homemade food than you can shake a stick at, a live DJ and dance floor and lots of friends and family. Monica danced with her dad to a sweet tear- jerker. Then it is Josh's turn to have a dance. So I go to the floor with Josh and he thinks we are going to dance to a nice slow song as a replacement for the mother/son dance. Well, no way! I am not dancing and having everyone think it is sad mom is not there. So Monica and I had been talking (maybe more her idea than mine!) And as we get to the floor "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" by Madonna begins to blare. Now my sisters are behind me and we all make absolute fools of ourselves. (None of us are good dancers!) Josh was reported to have called us evil at this time, but it was light hearted, cute and so about us girls!

The reception lasted a long time and finally they couple decides to leave, or at least go stand outside by the car. In most weddings, the couple runs out as you pelt them with bird seed, the groom opens the door, shoves his cute bride inside and races around the car to book it to the hotel. Not this couple! They race past all the bird friendly rice only to stand around and talk to every one for at least 15 - 20 minutes. We are all finally saying "his is when you leave, good bye!" So they do leave and we clean up and go swimming!

I just may eat fleas!

2008-06-12T21:13:00.002-05:00

Surely they can't taste that bad. They are so tiny. But do know what they might contain? Tapeworm eggs! Do you know what tapeworms do? That's right - cause you to lose weight! I am so sick of being hungry. At least with a tapeworm I would be eating everything in sight and still losing weight, although I think you would most likely be hungry still. Did you know they used to sell diet pills with the eggs inside them? I don't guess the FDA liked that very much. But honestly that sounds better than eating fleas! And you know they make medicine to get rid of them, so what is there to lose? Mom was on a diet as long as I can remember. I guess I was lucky enough to inherit those genes! She joined Weight Watchers years ago and now I am following in those footsteps. I am slowly getting used to the hunger and it is actually working. So I really don't have too much to complain about, but I think worms would be easier.

Summer at last!

2008-06-05T20:49:00.004-05:00

We are officially on summer break and boy are we glad! I got to sleep in just a bit this morning and it was wonderful! It is so irronic that the kids will continue to awaken fairly early like they are used to while I beg for them to roll over and go back to sleep. Then the week or two before going back to school in the fall guess what! They finally get the whole idea and begin to sleep in! I am just hoping that they will learn the lesson earlier this year!

So what is on tap for summer? Extra work for me:-( at least for this month. One of the offices I work in is closing. The owner is retiring and we are closing our doors. Lots of people are really sad about that and I am too. The other office will pick up the slack for me though. I am glad I have backup!

We are planning a weekend trip to Branson with some friends. I hope to get the kids in a VBS program since our church is not doing one this year. Sarah will probably attend a day camp or two and visit her aunt with horses. Hogan gets to go to grandmothers all by himself for a few days for the first time! Steve and I have a trip to Vegas later in the summer with his work.:-) Looking for sitters! Hint Hint! And I may (hopefully) am going to OK to volunteer for a few days at Voice of the Martyr!!!! This is really exciting for me since I have wanted to do this for years. A group of ladies from our church are planning a trip. It will be nice to meet these other ladies as well.

And the big one, Josh will marry at the end of this month! It is hard to believe it is just a few weeks away. The problem with being so much older than your sibling is you feel they are just a baby, when in fact he is older than I was when I got married! (I must have been so much more mature haha!) Anyway, we are very excited to welcome his fiancee into our family! She is so sweet and puts up with Josh! (Gotta love that huh!) They are already getting their apartment ready. I remember how exciting and scary that first house is. And they are in an apartment, so they will have neighbors to listen to all their first year "discussions"! Don't we know how those go! Even mild mannered Josh can get his dander up occassionally!

Well, that's all for now! The shower is calling!

Busy little beavers.

2008-05-26T23:23:00.002-05:00

We seemed to have been so busy since April. I hope this is not a precedent for the summer. I hope it is just trying to squeeze everything into spring and nice weather! Steve and I have been very busy remodeling the "shop". It has served as an unfinished junk room for the last several years and we had begun to finish it out for mom's business. Well, when we moved here we began talking about what we wanted to do with the half finished "shop". We finally decided it would serve out family the best for now as a playroom. Steve takes Jui-Jitsu and has mats he wants to put in there to wrestle on. (Honestly, I think the mats are why we are making it the playroom!) But I will be glad to have a place to keep all the kids toys. It is not in the house but just off the kitchen. I think it will be a room where we sort of live. I plan on putting a couch and TV in there and maybe my scrap booking stuff. I think it will be a great hang out location. And it may serve as an escape when we begin the house remodel! I'll be sure to post pics when it is a little more finished. You won't believe the colors!

Then there is always the yard! Lots of it too! I am not doing to well keeping up with all the mowing right now. It keeps raining here! By the time it dries out it rains again! We also have to keep our other house's yard mowed. It is still on the market. We are praying it will sell soon. I hate that it is just sitting there. I hope someone will fall in love with it soon. It needs a family in it again. Right now I call it the most expensive bathroom in town! If I am out shopping and I need a potty break, I stop by and check on things, change and feed the baby, then go back to my errands. I will miss my private bathroom, but I will not miss the extra mowing!

Steve took Hogan on a special father son vacation last week. They went to the cabin and fished, hiked and hung out. They went to play minature golf and go cart riding. Sarah, Josiah and I all joined then several days later. I shopped just a little, and we hiked, fished and played for a few days. Steve's dad was able to join us for a couple of days as well. It was a great getaway.

Saturday we had our annual cemetery clean up day this weekend. We raked leaves and mowed grass and visited with family. It was really hot, but so nice to see everyone. We ate lunch afterwards and ended up having dinner with most everyone as well. Anna says when our generation is in charge we are going to hire the work done and have the reunion at the park!

Well, I can't think of much else right now. I'm kinda tired. So off to bed!

Rice, Cucumbers, and Orange Juice!!!!

2008-05-11T22:32:00.002-05:00

You may wonder what in the world those three items may have in common. Well in my mind just about nothing, but to my dear husband and poor innocent son apparently they spell dinner! Yes that is what I said dinner... rice, cucumbers, and OJ. Nothing more, nothing less! Don't ask me how they arrived at this decision, I was not involved or consulted and thankfully did not have to partake! You see they are away on a father-son weekend. I have always wondered what these were like and after I got the menu, I knew I was very glad I was born female! They are not even roughing it! They are staying in a nice cabin in a busy town! They weren't even desperate and eating only what was available. They went to the grocery store and purchased the lovely combination of culinary refinement! I am still shaking my head and laughing. Makes my dinner of shredded wheat sound 5 star-ish!

My Dancing Queen

2008-05-03T22:25:00.005-05:00

Last night was one of my favorite nights of the year. We go downtown to a big auditorium and watch my baby girl dance her little heart out. She has prepared all year for this night in the spotlight and she loves it! She loves the costume, make-up, hair, and attention. For the first time last night she was nervous. She has performed for the last 4 years and has never seemed nervous. But she was very brave once we prayed together and never missed a step! As I was watching her last night I was remembering all the other dances. The first year she was only 3 and her daddy had to play a horse for her! Poor guy had to be on his hands and knees on hard ground in front of hundreds of people. But she looked so cute sitting on top of his back blowing her kiss to the audience! Then the next year she was a cute ballerina in tu-tu and all. The third year she danced to "Achy Breaky Heart" which was right up her little cowgirl alley! Then this year it was "Dancing Queen"! I just laughed when I found out what their song was going to be! Not that I love the song, but it was from my time and the title so describes my daughter! She used to literally spend hours dancing in our living room for us. She loved the colors of her costume this year. I think the costumes in the past were cuter, but I think she thought this year's was more grown up! :-( Her daddy gave her a dozen long stemmed red roses after her performance as well. Once again reflecting on years past...the first year she danced, we ALL gave her flowers. She was so tiny standing there in her red cowgirl costume with an arm load of flowers! She was completely overwhelmed and for the life of her, she could not figure out why we were making her hold so many flowers while we took 2 million pictures! Last night we saw another bewildered little girl with an armload of flowers while about 15 adults stood around with flashing cameras and I just laughed to myself!

These dances require a lot from both mom and daughter. On Thursday we have rehearsal. I check her out of school just a little early and go get gas. I then have to run my car thought the car wash because we will see everyone we know! In the car wash I have her change into her costume! Then we race into town. Once at the auditorium we find a place to sit and wait. Once her class is called up they practice several times and we get last minute costume inspection and instruction. Then we have to wait at least 2 hours so we can practice the Finale! So we get to bed late this night. Then again the following day, I check her out just a little early and we head home for a bath and hair washing! We get her dressed up in a cute dress and apply heavy stage make-up by the very specific instructions, put her hair up still wet and practically glue it in place. Then we grab a snack and drink and head to town again! This time we go straight to the dressing room and change there (on performance night you can't wear any part of your costume in the general public!). We take several pictures and make last minute costume adjustments (I take needle and thread!) She is then taken with her class to wait in the wings and entire hour before the show begins! We then head to find seats (Grandmother is with me and helping me this year!) We meet daddy and the boys and everyone else coming to see our little DQ. She is about the 6th dance and after she is done, I run to the dressing room to meet her. More pictures. Change into cute dress taking even the ribbon out of her hair. She comes to out seats and sees everyone and watches a couple of dances with us then she and I head back to the dressing room and get back into costume. This year I watched 1 too many dances and we are the last one to change. Her whole little class is ready and yelling "hurry Sarah, hurry!" Never mind we have at least 9 more dances before finale. We get back into costume in record time and she joins them as they are going upstairs again to wait in the wings. I head back to our seats, finish the show and race once again back to the dressing room. We change back into the cute dress for the last time! We gather all our stuff and head back to the seats to rejoin everyone for more pictures. Finally we head to a restaurant to eat and rest!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!

Welcome Eden Marie!

2008-04-09T17:19:00.004-05:00

Jana and Brad welcomed their second baby girl into the world last night at 9:26! She was born after a frustrating day for mom and dad. Jana began having contractions at 9:00 that morning and sometime after 10 they decided it was time! They got in the car and Brad asked Jana to tell him when the next contraction began. She said she just sat there and sat there! Once in the hospital she had a few more then they hooked her up and she just sat there again! Finally they decided to let her go but felt she would be back soon. Sure enough just 4 hours later she was back and she was serious! Less than 5 hours later little ( ummm, big) Eden made what seemed to be an almost effortless entry! (At least effortless on my part- heehee!) She weighed in at 9# 4.8 ounces!! and over 21 inches long! She is adorable and seems to have a very mild mannered personality, but we all know time will tell the truth on that one! Emily was very excited to see her new baby sister. She was so gentle with her. I took tons of pictures, but mostly with Jana's camera. I will post one soon with her permission.

Our Easter Egg Experiment

2008-03-27T16:47:00.001-05:00

Sorry it has been so long since I last posted. March has been difficult this year. But I finally thought, life is too short to feel so down all the time. My sadness won't change anything for the better anyway. That's not to say that I was under the covers all month, but I certainly did not feel like blogging or talking about it. I had picked out a nice blog to post on mom's site and never did. Maybe I will still do that but for now it is not there. We did go to her grave and took some daffodils from the yard. I don't go there very often even though it is just practically next door. I don't know why, maybe it is because I have three kids and had rather play with them. But it was nice to go with my family. We still have not ordered her headstone and I have been beating myself up over that one. I want it to be perfect and have not decided EXACTLY what I want to put on it. But I think it is time to decide and get that done too. We will have a family get together soon where lots of extended family come and we clean up the cemetery and I want the headstone in place before that. (Don't want everyone to think we are neglectful!)

Anyway that is just a little reason why I have avoided this spot for a while. Now on to fun stuff! See the eggs. Take 3 guesses as to how I got them so red!!! Yes they were plan old white eggs from the store. Are you ready for this! Onions! Did you guess right? I took the skins of 15 yellow onions, boiled them then steeped them for about 30 minutes then brought it to room temperature and boiled my eggs in the strained liquid! They were absolutely beautiful! We learned that the Greek tradition is to dye eggs red to remind them of Christ's blood and the egg represents new life. So we took this little basket to guys who run our wonderful local Greek restaurant. It was a great experiment and good lesson for the kids.

New adventure!

2008-03-03T22:58:00.004-06:00

People look at my plate and think it is overflowing on all sides. I guess that is one way to see it, but I look at it and see all the wonderful things in my life. I think I love almost every activity in it. I do complain some about being tired or too busy but I guess I am strictly a type A personality. I love projects and challenges. I love to keep my mind and body active. I hope the only casualty of my busy life is a clean house.

So are you dying to know what I got myself into now? I have just recently signed up to be a Southern Living at Home consultant. yeah yeah yeah, I know it is direct sales, but I am really excited. I went to a party just because it is the polite thing to do. While there I got interrupted by a small "emergency" and left with a quick order and a catalogue. I agreed to host a catalogue party to help out my friend that gave the party. I must have looked at the poor catalogue a thousand times. Every day I changed what I wanted. My list only grew longer the more I looked at it! I feel in love with everything they have! So I am going to try this. I haven't sold anything other than books at my book fair fundraisers since I was in high school selling ice cream at the mall. At the fundraisers I always enjoy meeting people and talking to them. I think that will be one of the real perks about this new adventure.

So, if you get an invitation for a party, just know I am only trying to share one of the new interests in my life with you. I promise not to be pushy or sneaky. Just excited! Oh, and if you want to host a party (wink, wink) I'll be thrilled!

You may check out my web page at www.southernlivingathome.com/angietitus
You can actually browse the latest catalogue and order online from my homepage! Just click on the "Our Products" link on the left. The entire catalogue will come up and you can browse each wonderful page!
Happy shopping!

Can you tell it is flu season?

2008-02-26T16:54:00.002-06:00

I have been so busy lately. I seem to have very little time to do anything but stick swabs up noses! I know we say this every year, but this has been a bad season for us. All three of the docs I work with have gotten sick this season and I have had to fill in more than usual. One of them had flu and then pnuemonia a few weeks later. I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop and for my family to get sick. Then of course we have been swamped. Today, by the timeI finished seeing the patients in the first two rooms, I had to send them both to the ER because they were so sick!

I think Josiah just got over his second bout of pneumonia as well. I say think because he had x-rays that looked okay and progressively got worse until we started antibiotics almost a week later. My poor kids have to be on their death bed before I give them antibiotics! And of course we were out of town when he got so sick. Steve stayed up all night in the hotel watching him one night. We didn't come home early because I was scared to have him on the road sounding like he did. Anyway he is much better now.

So I hope you all are staying well. Wash those hands! Cover that cough or sneeze and remember Tamiflu only helps if started within 48 hours of onset of symptoms!

Dedication

2008-02-10T14:52:00.008-06:00

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1: 3 (NIV)

Isn't this the sweetest picture? Steve took this Sunday after Josiah's dedication. We just went out in the backyard and took several shots. There were a lot of good ones, but I like this one the most. If you look close you can see the cross embroidered on his little outfit.

Dedication day is so important to me. I really think this is one of the most important days as a parent. We put a lot of prayer and thought into his "life scripture" and prayer. It is so hard to pick out just one scripture that you desire to represent what you hope for this child. Steve and I consider it a great privelege to be able to raise these precious little ones. They are such a blessing. They bring joy and laughter to the adult world. They bring innocence, love and trust. They are very special little people. I pray that we raise them the way God desires.

Father, thank you for the privilege of raising Josiah. We pray that your Spirit will live in him everyday of his life, and that his passion will be to seek and fulfill your will and calling in his life. That he will proclaim your Word to others, and that his life will create a legacy of faithful service to your Kingdom.

6 months already!

2008-02-09T23:37:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday Tiger!

2008-02-03T16:16:00.000-06:00

Well it is not exactly his birthday. That was a few weeks ago. But yesterday we celebrated his 5th birthday. So why did it take so long to celebrate? We had a joint party with his best friend. They are about 6 weeks apart in age and we tried to pick the middle. We rented the local inflatable jumping house and invited all their school friends and family. I think we had close to 30 kids there! It was a zoo, but so much fun! He has wanted to have a party at this place for some time so he was on cloud 9. He grinned all day long!

Hogan is my "life of the party kid". He lives life to the fullest. He loves just about everything and everybody. He stays on full throttle as long as he is awake! He reminds me that life can be fun, I mean lots of fun! Give him a bad situation and he will make lemonade from lemons! This little guy is teaching me to love life by just watching him. I think he will set the world on fire someday. He has the energy, tenacity and the bravery to do it! Now if I can just survive his raising to see it!!!!

We have called him Goose since he was an infant. He made this little noise as a newborn that we said sounded like a goose. Well it stuck and we have affectionately called him Goose for 5 years. Well a few months ago he said, "Mommy me not goose, me Hogan." I was stunned but very politely ignored it. Then a few weeks ago he told us he did not want to be called goose anymore, just Hogan. My heart was crushed, but we are trying to respect his request and not call him Goose anymore. I say trying because old habits are hard to break. We called him Goose as much or more than Hogan, at least at home. So this is my Hogan.

He said WHAT?

2008-01-30T22:41:00.000-06:00

Tonight riding in the car Sarah began talking about a classmate of hers. They have recently rearranged their desks and she has new neighbors. One of the little boys is in trouble a lot. She has lots of stories about what this little boy does. Well, tonight she reported that he says '"bad" words. Her teacher asks them to tell her when he says these words, but apparantly asks that they not say the words but rather tell her what letter the word starts with. So, of course, I ask her what words he says. Sarah replies the "sh word". I was glad it was dark because I am sure my face changed! I am thinking no way is this little boy saying that in school. I know, I know it happens all the time, but not here in the bible belt! I work with some of these type kids everyday so I should not be surprised, but I am alarmed. I really don't want this child sitting next to mine. I don't want her to hear these words. I don't want her to even know they exists yet! Well she interupts my thoughts with the answer (just before I decide to pull her out and homeschool the sweet thing). She whispers the word "shut up". Wow, what a relief not at all what I was thinking. Then she says he also says the "d" word. Again a cascade of thought interupted by a quiet "dumb". What innocence, isn't it grand! Don't you wish you could go back to the days where shut up and dumb were curse words. I don't mean go back physically, but go back to that innocence. It is such a sweet trusting time that is never repeated in our lives. This conversation did give us the chance to talk about how we handle these situations and why we don't talk "that way". So if you are jaded by life, know that there are still sweet innocent children playing on playgrounds in America!

I need a shrink!

2008-01-28T16:14:00.000-06:00

Okay, let's start by thinking about scary movies. You know the scene: a beautiful young barely dressed lady is about to do something that will put her in harms way. You know what you do: you yell at the TV telling her "DON"T DO IT!!!" Well, today that beautiful young lady was me, except I assure you I was fully dressed! I am thinking about procuring food and realize I can not remember the last time I had a Big Mac! So what do I do? Yeah, place myself in danger! I go directly to the drive through and order one! The whole time I hear this voice inside my head shouting "Don't do it". Why am I so good at ignoring this voice? This has actually happened to me twice! I ate the whole thing both times and was sorry I did. I have just lost my taste for them. This is such a good thing and I keep pushing it! The good news is I think I have only had two in the past 3 or 4 months! (We won't talk about my new found love Chick-fil-A! or my continued addiction to cokes!)

Imagine That!

2008-01-26T23:46:00.000-06:00

Well January 1st came and went and I am still the same old me. I had such high hopes this year that I would turn into Ms. Perfect as soon as the ball dropped. I was going to exercise multiple times a week, keep the most clean and organized home, cook wonderful healthy meals every night, and spend hours playing with my children and read my Bible daily. I don't know why I thought I would be able to do all this but it was a good goal. I have done some of all of it, but not in the large amounts I had dreamed. Why do we hold perfection out there for us to strive for? I feel like the proverbial donkey with a silly carrot hanging off a stick in front of my nose. The problem is that someone made the stick too long! In my case the stick is comprised of too few hours in a day and "want to". Some of you may call it lazy. I just need to sit down occasionally and that really eats into the too few hours problem. Now I will admit I don't sit down a lot, but apparently I should sit down less. I already eat my lunch standing at the kitchen counter most days. I often eat breakfast in the car so I guess that counts as an okay time to sit down. Dinner is debatable, but usually we try to sit down together as a family. I sit down to nurse the baby and don't really want to give that up. So I have given up some computer time! I check email less frequently and only cruse my friends blogs a few times a week. But this still doesn't get it all done. So I think I will combine my goals. If I run while cleaning and read while nursing and make cooking a game maybe I will become that woman yet!

A good reminder

2008-01-17T23:48:00.001-06:00

I am very tired but just wanted to check in and tell you a little about my day. I kept a friends two kiddos today. She has gone to care for her parents for a few days and her husband had to go to meetings today. They were really good and played well with mine. It actually made for a very nice day. I had to take them to run several errands today. While driving down the street we passed a cemetery. One child spoke up and said look at where those people die. Of course I am just driving and had not even paid attention to the cemetery. So this statement wakes me up and now I am looking for dying people on the side of the road! The other child says, "No that's where they just lay their skin." Now the wheels are turning in my head. I have been missing mom terribly lately. I keep wanting to tell her something or ask a question, but mostly just chat like we used to. You know that comfortable idle talk we girls like. So this statement came at such a good time for me. It reminds me that mom's skin is there but she isn't. It made me remember some things I tried to keep my mind on when she first passed away. I would think about what I thought she might be doing in heaven at that very moment, who she had breakfast with, what life long question had she finally found the answer to today. This simple statement reminded me that this life is only dress rehearsal. Our "final act" is in fact eternal. She is now living in God's presence. How awesome is that?!
Thank you dear little friend for pulling me back to reality and reminding me of our true hope!

Christmas Report

2008-01-03T20:00:00.000-06:00

Well, sorry, my computer ate the words on my last post. I was so frustrated that I just turned it off and played Wii! (New favorite past time at our house since we still don't have TV! I have learned how to watch old Law and Order episodes on the computer!LOL) So let me try this again.

My sisters and brother and their families all decided to make Christmas a little easier on us this year. (No one wanted to clean and cook!) So we went out to eat at a Chinese buffet instead. Don't ask how we chose Chinese! Nothing really Christmas about that to us Americans! Anyway, afterwards we did go to Anna's for dessert and presents! Of course the kids had a blast. They just love getting together and playing! It is a wild and loud house with 8 cousins running around. My family draws names and we added the kids to the name draw this year. It was amazing how much there was even with that! We found gifts for the kids in mom's closet when we were cleaning out this summer, so I wrapped those up and each of the bigger kids got a gift from Mor-Mor. They were all very excited. (We didn't give Josiah one since he here when she would have been shopping.) We also found mom's collection of Santa Clauses. Several years ago she started a "dirty Santa" game with Santa Claus figurines. She just happened to have 8! So we wrapped these up and played the game this year with her collection. We had the same laughs as always. There always tends to be at least one ugly Santa and one everyone likes. But this year we had the added difficulty of already having some of the Santa's in our own collection. In the end I think it turned out so everyone was pretty happy. I actually got a very pretty one this year. I always end up with the ugly ones for one reason or another!

Then Steve's brother, mom and step-dad came and stayed with us for Christmas eve and a couple of days following. We really enjoyed having them and it was Grandmother's first year to be present first thing in the morning. She got an up close and personal seat since we do not have a guest room and everyone was camped out in sleeping bags and couches! Hopefully we will have more room next year!

As I mentioned before I did a lot of cooking and was quite tired in the end, but it was a great Christmas. That seems really weird to say being this is the first Christmas without mom. It was hard on all of us without a doubt. I don't think you can lose someone so important in your life and it not be felt for a very long time if not forever. I felt like I was waiting on someone else to arrive the whole time. I caught myself looking out the window or over my shoulder. I used mom's recipes for all the food. It was comforting to at least have her food present. I think Jana also used a lot of mom's recipes this year in her cooking. We are really fortunate because a few years ago mom and her friend Francine put together these wonderful recipe books for us. She had recipes from all our grandmas and mothers-in-law in there. We never knew it would be such a treasured book so soon. But I still wanted to ask her questions. I think I talk to her a lot in my head. You know, something will happen and I think "mom, you would..." or "can you believe..." I used to call my mom several times a day so I guess it is hard to break that habit.

Several days before Christmas, my daughter was talking to a cousin and told him that since Mor-Mor died mom has cried. I smiled almost embarrassed and said yes I do cry some. Her eyes then got really big and wide and she looked serious and like she knew something I didn't and quietly said "a lot" and added a little nod. So I determined then and there that I would not cry on Christmas. I didn't and I was rather pleased with myself. Well said daughter was not fairing as well as I thought. She had been cranky before Christmas and I just thought she was tired, excited, loaded on sugar etc. Then a few days after Christmas a couple of friends came over to play and she was VERY CROSS. I sent her to her room and followed to have a talkin' to. As we were talking she suddenly burst into tears and collapsed on the floor. She looked at me and said she had been wanting to go to Mor-Mor's but would remember that she was not longer there. So we sat on the floor and just cried together for some time (thank goodness the friends were caught up in a game of Wii). After a good long cry she relaxed. I asked what she wanted to do: visit the cemetery, write Mor-Mor a letter or draw a picture. She said no to all this and simply stated "I want to go ride". This means ride one of her favorite horses. So we did. I took her to Steve's aunt's and she rode in the freezing cold for a couple of hours. Her little joy has returned and she is much sweeter. Now, we are going to work on doing little projects that remind us of happy times with Mor-Mor. I told her we would do some things that mom used to do with us such as tea parties in the living room, making play dough, chocolate chip pancakes, cooking in the kitchen together, etc. She also promised me she would tell me next time she was sad about mom before she gets cross like that again. It must be really hard for the little ones to process loss. They don't have the vocabulary or friend structure that we have. I must remember to include her more in my grief process.

Even better.

2007-12-28T18:44:00.000-06:00

Today was the first day that Josiah has acted like he felt well. He has been rather fussy since all the illness began. He has wanted someone holding him most of the time. And after worring that he was not eating enough he has begun eating every hour. I guess he is making up! So today he has actually sat in the swing and even slept for an hour or so straight. I hope this trend continues because he has been such a good baby. And I have gotten some housework done!

Tonight is pizza, popcorn and movie night. We just watched a movie we got for Christmas. Just a kid cartoon about dinosaurs, but so nice to all snuggle up on the couch together! I think the kids are planning on a camp out in the living room. (That's one thing I hope they leave me out of, but I bet not!)

Not sure what we are doing this weekend yet. It's hard to do much that requires being outdoors with Josiah still recuperating, but I am so tired of being in! Maybe I'll get to go out and use my blower! I still have not used it yet, but the leaves ave almost all fallen.

Well I am being challenged to a Wii tennis game! Gotta go!

Better at last!

2007-12-26T09:27:00.000-06:00

Well, Josiah is much better. We were able to keep him out of the hospital but I wonder if it would have been easier. We were up for several nights in a row. But all is good now and we are catching up on missed sleep. Although, I don't think we will ever be caught up completely. Isn't that a parent's plight?

We had a great Christmas and hope you did too. We stayed home all day and Steve and the kids just played and played. Steve's brother, mom, and her husband stayed with us this year. They joined us in our glorified camping as I call it. We still have most of our things in storage since mom's business equipment is with us. We have just the necessaties (and sometime less). So they slept on couches and floors. But they were there when the kids got up to see what Santa brought. So hopefully it was worth it. (Probably more worth it to my mother-in-law than the men!)

So in our glorified camping state, I cooked Christmas dinner for 9. We got our table in on Christmas eve. I cooked a ham, a very big ham. It took twice as long because I could not keep the oven temp up. I had to crank it up to 500 to keep the oven around 350. So, we will see how the oven fairs over the next few days! I mashed sweet potatoes with a fork since I do not have a mixer, blender, or food processor. Steve spent Saturday cooking ratatouille (inspired by the movie - for the kids) They loved helping make it, but were not to crazy about eating it! Then we had store bought rolls, oriental salad, black eyed peas and sweet potato pecan pie. I had wanted to make a Happy Birthday Jesus cake, but because the ham took so long it did not get finished. So we just sang Happy Birthday to Jesus before going to sleep last night. I was very tired by the end. I wonder sometimes who holidays are for. Seems we women work harder on a holiday than a work day!

Anyway not much else to post right now. I am trying to get Christmas cards out. Josiah's illness has put me way behind. So know we are wishing you well and will send the cards out soon! (They have a cute picture!)

Ear infections, pneumonia, and RSV, OH MY!!!

2007-12-18T23:54:00.000-06:00

Who am I talking about? My youngest! Last week he started with a little cough. He was on the bed Thursday night rooting around and fussing. When I turned him over he was blue around the lips and hands. Fortunately just the position change began to bring back the pink in just a few seconds, which seemed like hours by the way. He had a low grade fever but did fine the rest of the night. I took him to work with me the next day to keep an eye on him. He coughed a lot and just acted like he felt bad. So we started with an inhaler. Saturday was okay but coughing and coughing. Then Sunday we were using the inhaler every 6 hours and still wheezing and coughing. And he had an ear infection to top it off. At midnight he had a fever and we gave Tyleno and the inhaler. After basically sitting with a stethescope to him for two hours, I finally decided to go to the ER. Of course, the trip perked him up! I think the moving around made a difference. The doc said,"He doesn't sound that bad!" I said, "No, he looks better right now. If he looked this good at home I would still be in bed!" I told him he sounded really awful at home using my medical lingo so he would know I knew something about breathsounds! Then I said you know since we are here can we go ahead and get xrays? He agreed and came back and said he had pneumonia. He gave us oral antibiotics! I was not happy. He was sending us home without an updraft. My 4 month old has pneumonia and he was not giving him an antibiotic shot! I could have done everything they did except for the xrays in the morning for free! I take better care of my patients!!! Anyway, I left not wanting to raise a stink and the baby was doing better.

So, the next morning (just about 4 hours later) I take him to work and we did RSV testing which came back positive. Now he gets the shot and updraft we are so desperately needing. One of the nurses was so sweet and said I should have called her at 2 in the morning and she would have met me at the office for the test and updraft (I can never remember the code to get in!). So now we go to lunch and around 1 I go to change his diaper. It is dry! I think the girls must have changed him before I left. So upon returning to the office I asked and they said they checked him and he was dry. He has now gone 8 hours at least without wetting a diaper. So we start really pushing the fluids. I thought for sure we were going to end up in the hospital on Monday. But he takes the fluids well and over the next 8 hours the dehydration is resolved for the moment.

Today, I basically have just sat and watched him breath, counting his breaths and heartrate. He has had ups and downs but this afternoon he began smiling a little. He has just laid and looked at us for the past few days. Some times he would even arch his back and neck a little. But he now is laying normal agian. And the part that makes me feel the best - they gave me the pulse ox machine to bring home tonight. So now every so often I check his oxygen! I know where we stand and that helps me so much! I am able to treat him like we would in the hospital except for IVs and oxygen. But I have a better handle on when he might need the next step.

So, I am praying that tomorrow is even better than today. When Hogan had this he was a little smaller (1 month) and he rocked along for 3 or 4 days then went down hill and we ended up in the hospital for almost a week. Please keep Josiah in your prayers for the next couple of days. And pray that mommy and daddy have the ability to foresee his needs and respond. I am most worried about when I doze off. I was so tired for Sunday night that Steve took watch last night. I was able to get a few hours of sleep. But now we are both tired. I need to get up and give updraft treatments and just check on him.

Happy Birthday Princess!

2007-12-17T12:12:00.000-06:00

Today is her birthday! 7 years ago we were welcoming this wonderful gift into the world. I look back at those days in the hospital as some of my very happiest days on this earth. Mom told me then that it only gets better and you only learn to love them more with time. She was so right! It is hard to imagine but it is true. This little princess lights up my life! I can't wait for her to wake up every morning (she sleeps in a little now!) and smile for me. She is so beautiful when she smiles. I love her laugh and her dance. I love to hear her sing. I love our snuggle time and I love to hold her hand while we walk. I love to hear her stories and boy can she spin a yarn! (She has Pruden running through those veins! At the ripe old age of 3 she told me we needed to talk. I said well okay. She looked very seriously at me and said "I think you need to sit down." I was very interested at this point. So I stopped right where I was and sat down. There at the top of the stair case she looked me in the eye and said with great concern, "Mom, I hate to tell you this, but I am pregnant!" It was all I could do to keep from falling down the stairs laughing! And just today she had questions about "birthboxes". But that is for another post!)

So, with great joy and humility at being given such a precious gift, I say, "Happy Birthday Princess, I hope you have a wonderful day!"

Desperate Prayer Request!

2007-12-16T22:50:00.001-06:00

Steve's aunt called today and I want to pass along a tragic story and ask you to pray for the family. A young lady that grew up close to this aunt was traveling with her young family to attend church with her mom this morning. It was herself, her husband and their two children ages 6 and 9. Apparently, a gas drilling rig's crane fell on their passing car and crushed the car. Her two children were killed and her husband was Med flighted to a major trauma center while she remains in the local hospital. Her name is Elizabeth (that's all I know).

I can not imagine her sorrow. Please pray for her and her husband and their families. I'll update on whatever news filters my way.

Where is Christ?

2007-12-16T09:57:00.000-06:00

Okay,I usually try to post happier more pleasant thoughts, but today I just need to vent and rant a little! You see it all started a couple of weeks ago. I need to help the church decorate some tables for a ladies Christmas party. A lot of our things are still in storage, so I had to use what I could find around the house. I decided I might need a collection of angels and needed a couple of extra to round out what I had scavenged. So off to Wal-Mart I went. I looked very hastily and did not find any angels except tree toppers. So I thought in my hurry I overlooked them.

Well, last night I was not in a hurry and I needed several more Christmas items. So I am back at Wal-Mart looking in their Christmas display area. I find Santa, snowmen, reindeer, snowflakes, etc, etc, etc, but no Jesus! What? How could this be? I even found breast cancer awareness wrapping paper, but no Jesus! Now I understand that some people don't celebrate our Lord's birthday and just pay homage to a fat jolly fellow but some of us still think it is a religious celebration! Don't we deserve the right to be able to buy items that remind US and our loved ones that we are celebrating a royal birthday!? Fine have Santa every 2 inches, but give us a choice! I might want wrapping paper with a dove or some other Christian symbol on it! I might want an angel to place around the house. I might want a Christian Christmas!!!!!! I know I support breast cancer awareness, but I can buy that in October during BCA MONTH! I have one day to celebrate my Savior's birth and I want to celebrate with things that remind me of Him, not to check my breasts! AGHHHHHH! So have the employees say Happy Holidays! I will respond with Merry Christmas, because I as a Christian have a right too!!!!! (I used to roll my eyes at mom when she would get on these rants so I hope she is getting a laugh out of this because I am indignant!) By the way I am closing this post to write Wal-Mart! Oh yeah and Target is no better! I left Wal-Mart to check out Target and found about the same craziness!

An Awesome Day!

2007-12-03T00:15:00.000-06:00

Well this is what our Saturday looked like. We held the free garage sale and had beautiful weather. We started setting up around 8:30 and it was a little chaotic. We were just in this empty lot and dependent on the neighbors for electricity. Well they came through for us after a panicky few minutes and we got the moonwalk up and running. We had hot apple cider and LOADS of cookies. We had lots of wrapping paper and ribbon. We wrapped the things people picked out as gifts for others. We highly encouraged this type of shopping. At noon we were able to grill hotdogs and serve water. The traffic was slow at first but picked up around noon. I can not tell you what an awesome experience this was. People just thought it was a garage sale when they first came up. Then we would either approach them and explain it or they would ask a price on something. The looks on their faces were priceless. We had to tell most people several times that it was free before they would believe us. We heard so many stories about families in hard times. So many said they didn't think they were going to be able to have Christmas before this! There were many tears and most of these people wanted to donate money. We just kept telling them no, that this is just purely a blessing! We had people ask us to pray for them and were able to share God's love with so many.

One of the most amazing things we experienced was the people's integrity. They were so careful to make sure they took only what they felt they needed. They would be sure the clothes would fit the kids before just taking the stuff. They were often hesitant to take extra things and we had to encourage them often! I really thought someone would just pull up and load everything into their car. But this never happened! Amazingly, we had one man that came right back with stuff of his own! He had looked around and found out what we were doing. He got in his car and we just shrugged thinking he must not have really believed us or something. Then next thing we knew, he was back and his car was full of things! They were nice things too! He wanted to give, even in his need!

I know I said it earlier, but I can not tell you what an awesome experience this was for us. I believe it may have blessed us more than those we served. Tonight our group talked about how to make this an annual event. We talked about how to make it bigger and better. We also talked about leaving it the same as not to lose the heart of the whole project. So who knows what next year will look like, but I can't wait.

I would encourage and maybe even challenge you to try the same thing. Most of us have too much stuff as it is. It is crowded our closets, cabinets, and toy chests. We are going to give and get more stuff this season to place in these crowded storage spaces. Please think about cleaning out and just offering it to those in need. You don't need to have many people involved to make a difference to someone. I started out planning on doing this in my front yard by myself. I know there are lots of charities that will take things, but standing there talking with people and offering it for free is a priceless experience. You can take the leftovers to the charities! We did!

Blessing others.

2007-11-29T10:08:00.000-06:00

We had a great Thanksgiving this year. We missed mom terribly, but were able to have a nice diner with everyone there and a very good meal. Anna (aka superwoman) hosted it at her house. They have done a great job remodeling and updating the house. We ate on mom's table, with Anna's china and decorations and our food. Of course the food was not as good as mom's, but I don't think you can ever measure up to "mom's" cooking!

The week before Thanksgiving, my family headed out for vacation. It is the first real vacation we have had since mom got sick. We went to the cabin in Pigeon Forge, TN (see link to Smokies View Cabin for a picture!)We shopped, rode horses, hiked, fished and slept in a little. It was so nice. Then we drove to Atlanta and went to the "world's largest" aquarium. It was fun. The kids love aquariums. They saw beluga whales, 2 whale sharks, and Hogan was even brave enough to pet a shark! They had a great day. Then we drove to see Steve's granny in Mississippi. Sarah spent the night with her cousin Tori and Hogan had a night with just mommy and daddy and Josiah. I got some more shopping in too! Then we drove home for dinner with my sibs.

This weekend we are helping to host a "Free Garage Sale". I read on the Internet about people who have decluttered and then just given the stuff away in a garage sale. I thought about the community we live in and how much need there is here. We feel God has lead us here for a reason (yes, other than just a horse). So we are going to start by blessing others this Christmas. Our small group from church is joining us and we are going to turn it into a block party with inflatable jumpers, cookies, apple cider, coffee and fun. We will wrap things people want to give as gifts for Christmas. We are all very excited about it and hope we are able to minister those who come as well.

My friend from high school, Melanie, who had breast cancer is scheduled for her next round of chemo today. Please pray for her. She had a really rough time after the last dose. Her sister also went in for a routine mammo after Melanie found her cancer. Well, she too had a lump that was cancerous. It was very deep and would not have been found until much too late. But hers is more aggressive than Melanie's. She will have to have a double mastectomy then chemo and radiation. Her name is Kim (for you prayers!) Please consider giving yourself a mammogram for Christmas if you are over 35 and not done so yet! (Am I harping yet?)

I did it!! It came!!! It happened!!!

2007-11-13T22:31:00.000-06:00

I did it! I actually went back to the gym! Twice! I so dreaded this day. I was working out 2-3 times a week when mom got sick and that came to a sudden halt. I would take her and walk with her around the basketball courts but that was about it. Then we were trying to move and then had a baby. So now all my excuses are gone. It really wasn't that bad. The worst part of all are the walls of mirrors! They have way too many of these and I think they are totally unnecessary. I can tell if I do an exercise incorrectly by pain it will induce, I do not need to see anything! As it is everywhere you turn, there you are! Anyway, I am back and hope to continue. Now if I can just drive past McDonald's!

It came!! The backpack blower came! It is already dirty, smelly and a little worse for the wear. I have not tried to start it yet. That will happen soon I hope. The great thing about the wear is that I will look like I am a pro! I could blow leaves straight up in the air and an onlooker would think, she looks like a professional so that must be what she means to do! Image is everything! And sometimes that requires a little dirt and grime!!!

It happened!!! Our youngest got sick. Last night he was a little gaggy with the passy and did not eat well. Then this morning he had a fever. I got up early and got my shower since Steve was not feeling well. I was checking on the baby when I heard and say his little tummy rumble. I was frantically trying to get the towel off my head and in front of him when the volcano erupted! Needless to say I had to go back in the shower! Poor little guy had a rough day. He is sleeping well right now and the fever is gone, at least for the moment and the sheets are once again clean. Hopefully tomorrow he will be himself again! I am very grateful he is past the 3 month mark or we would be typing this from the hospital! We've been there before and I don't do well!

Check out Beautiful Mess (blog listed to the right of this post) for a wonderful reminder!

(Becky, I don't have your email address!!!)

New Toy....Hmph!!

2007-11-07T23:22:00.001-06:00

Ok Angie is going on and on about this leaf blower, but a leaf blower seems about as much work as a rake. So I am thinking we need one of THESE!!!!!

What do you guys think?

New Toy!

2007-11-07T22:12:00.001-06:00

Okay, I just need to write something happy! For those of you who follow my mom's blog I just added a new post. But now I need to focus on something lighter.

I am anxiously awaiting a long desired object. This object is supposed to make my life easier, but I think it will be fun as well. It is big, it is noisy (I'll have to use ear plugs!), it is heavy (I'll have to wear most of it on my back!), it is powerful (Steve says too powerful for me!) it will vibrate me to death. Do you give up yet? It is a commercial backpack leaf blower!!!! I got a great deal on eBay and I couldn't be more excited. I think I ask Steve everyday if it has been shipped. I have always enjoyed coming out to grandma's and helping her rake her leaves. We would take more coke breaks than I think were warranted. But the key here was helping her. She spent a good part of almost every day of her life raking leaves. She somehow kept all these leaves at bay with a single rake and about a gazillion matches. Side note here: Steve said one day he drove up and there were at least three large fires going. He could see smoke long before he got to the house. The road was barely visible because of all the smoke. When he got to where grandma was, there was not one water hose out! He said her reply to his offer of help was that she looked up, smiled and said "Aahhh, your just in time for a coke break!" Well that was grandma! But now I am here and I don't have a good part of every day to spend raking! About a month ago the leaves began to fall. Sarah and Hogan would say "Why is it raining leaves?" Guess what! The trees are still FULL of leaves and I have millions on the ground! So can you see why I am excited?

But not just for that reason. I have a secret desire. I watch trucks go down the road with these big trailers on the back. In the trailers are all sorts of fun! There are these really cool new large lawn mowers that you sit on and steers with funny looking sticks at your side. (I hear you can almost sling yourself off if you go fast enough!) They have nice big weed eaters and edgers, rakes, shovels, loppers, shears, and of course the famous commercial backpack blowers! I think this love comes from my genes and the experience of mowing my grandma's field as a young girl. I had mown our lawn for some time with a push mower. I even mowed the neighbor's yard. Then I was finally old enough to mow with the riding lawn mower. I felt freedom. I was in charge of this machine. I could go where I wanted (in the field). I had time where no one interrupted me. I had time to think, to pray, to sing... to be free for just an hour or more. (I am a terrible singer so the singing thing was fun to me until years later grandma told me they could hear me all the way to the house and would just laugh and laugh! Needless to say I don't sing loudly when I mow anymore!) Any way I think this loosed some sort of yard freak in me! I love to be out in the yard taking care of it. We will see what I think in the next few years to come!

Cuties

2007-11-04T00:23:00.000-05:00

Never a dull moment!

2007-10-29T00:52:00.000-05:00

We are currently trying to get our house (not grandma's but OUR house) ready to sell. They put a for sale sign up earlier this week and things are not in tip top shape. I have hired help but it has not meet my specifications just yet. So I go over for an hour or two every chance I get. I have gone through SEVERAL magic erasers. (I love/hate those little things!)

So Monday I decide to go over and clean a few walls on my lunch break. I open the door and am hit with a terrible odor. My mind races back to our funny sounding freezer which is now quiet! I head toward it immediately and the closer I get the stronger the stench! I open the door and am just about knocked over with odor! I feel inside and it is barely cool. So I get the large outdoor trash can, the only sacks available (the old trusty Wal-Mart sacks), paper towels and a bottle of Clorox Clean Up (my favorite cleaner!) Then I touch and smell things no human should be subject to! What a lovely way to spend lunch!

A couple of days later I go over with my two young boys in tow. The older of the two is almost 5 and very busy. I get him working with Windex and paper towels. He is a good helper when directed where he wants to go! We work on several windows and I am just getting in the swing of things. We go outside to clean mud from the dog off the window and he is helping me with a wagon that I am using as a step stool. We are almost finished with the last window on the back of the house when he moves the wagon, trips backwards over the sand box (which is full of muddy water) and falls in bottom first! It is about 45 degrees and he is now crying. I don't even have a towel! All I have are paper towels. So I rush around and get the baby loaded in the car, strip him nude and put him in the car and cover him with my jacket and turn on the heat! Poor little guy was not a happy camper.

This whole ordeal puts me so far behind. I was planning on going to the store to buy fixin's for two other families that are just overwhelmed with life right now. (Been there, but no one gave me a shirt just for the record!) But I have to tend to my son first. We finally make it to the store and almost $200 later I can cook! We go home and start this least favorite process. I spend the rest of the afternoon madly making chicken noodle soup and coca cola cake all from scratch! (Just for the record, I've never made chicken noodle soup and only made coca cola cake on other time!) Fortunately, everything goes as planned until we have to stop to go pick up my daughter from school. We come home and now I am desperate to finish the cakes. The kids so want to help and I try to let them but soon realize this is not going to work. I try to gently nudge them out of the kitchen, but no one thinks this sounds fun. So I am trying to give them simple uninvolved jobs in the kitchen. I nudge more forcefully, but still not takers. They want to be right here with mommy. My nerves are really beginning to unravel. It looks like dinner will be at least an hour late to the recipients at this point. Then I hear the wild giggling and then roaring laughter and squeals! I turn around (background information: my kitchen was just swept and mopped yesterday) to find my very busy son using a bag of powdered sugar as some sort of powder puff! He discovered a pin size hole in the bag and learned if you squeeze the bag a cloud of sugar comes shooting out! At this point I lose it! According to the research that claims yelling at your child is a damaging as spanking, I might as well have been beating these kids! My arms are waving wildly in the air as I proclaim they must leave the kitchen quickly or I will not be responsible for what happens next. After the scurry out of the kitchen I look around at all the powdered sugar coating everything, even the dog, hang my head and begin to laugh! I hide the laugh though! They need to be hiding for a few more seconds anyway!

So, I finally get the soup and cakes done. I am now realizing I have made big pans of very hot liquid that must be transported. I have flashbacks of an afternoon from my childhood. It involved two beautiful little girls (me and Jana:-)) a couple of Easter baskets full of dyed eggs, and a car's floorboard and some little feet! And yes, we were being beaten half to death if yelling is as bad as spanking!!! I am still driving the Hummer. I stop dead in my tracks. I had not thought this part through! So I go to the kids room and grab a couple of plastic bins they keep toys in and just like the expert mess maker I am - I turn them upside down dumping everything in a split second. Then I put towels in the bottom and place the pans on top. They ride in the Hummer like champs! Not one drop was spilled!

Now I am pulling up to the first house (on two wheels) only 1 1/2 hours later than I planned but still dinner time! As I knock on her door I take a deep breath and pull myself together. I glance in the windows as I wait. I see my friend get up off the couch where it looked as if she was sitting reading to her kiddos. (The whole family has been sick for a few weeks.) I'm thinking about how my house would look at this point (I can tell you it would be a mess!). As she opens the door a VERY clean home is revealed! Now I am wondering which one of us should be bringing the other a meal! Anyway they are very grateful and I am off to the other friends house. After I get home I have to begin dinner for my family. I thought I had planned enough for all three families, but as I packed everything up I thought about all their kids and realized I would just have to start over for my family! I make a third batch of soup and collapse. My poor family will just have to do without cake!

So that was my day and I did not even tell you about the adorable conversations I had with my very busy, too smart for his own good son! I will say it involved the sentence, "you're a big ole person" and a discussion about a cute little night gown he found in the back of my closet and how it would not make me look pretty!

It is now a SWEET Ordeal!!!

2007-10-22T22:16:00.000-05:00

Okay, so the van got towed this AM, I am in a borrowed car and things are okay. The service department is being very accommodating and we will know soon what is wrong with the van. They told Steve all I had to do was call to arrange a rental car. So I called at noon. They had me call the rental place and they referred me to the local store. They tell me no problem, we will call you at 4:30 to find out how to get to your house to pick you up. This all sounds good to me. Well, 4:30 comes and goes. I finally call at 5:00 (thank goodness Steve arranged to get Hogan!) They say when the driver comes in they will have him call for directions. At 5:30 I call again. The driver was in and I gave him directions. Why had they not called if he was in? Well he comes to get me and sits in the car as I load my two kids, their seats and a few things - IN THE RAIN! So I am not too happy at this point. Steve has been waiting at the rental place to make a kid swap for almost 30 minutes! He could have driven to the house to get me and we would have been there before now. So Steve is telling me about this new Hummer sitting on the lot. I feel like he is teasing me because Hummers are my dream car. I have wanted a hummer since long before they were popular. I would love to have one that was actually in the service. I think one with actual bullet holes and camo would be too much! I mean what else can say here I am than a Hummer? To me they are like the jock of the football team or something! When you drive one you are taking up all of your space on the road and nothing can stand in your way!!! I could drive anywhere I really wanted to whether it was pathed or not! Well you get my point - I LOVE HUMMERS! So Steve says, maybe they will let you drive the Hummer. I laughed and said "fat chance"!

We go in to get the paper work done and I figure I will be driving the little SUV they picked me up in. I am happy because it is much nicer than the minivan I drove last week. I even left my stuff in the car thinking maybe I could persuade them to let me drive it if they wanted to give me another stripped down van! Well the guys start looking and talking about available cars and I am trying to keep to rowdy kids to a dull roar. Finally the one guy says to the other "You don't have a choice." The other guy looks at me and asks if I live in town. I tell him no, but we still own a house in town if that helps. He asks where I work and I tell him in town. He says, well we will have to come exchange the car tomorrow because we are going to have to let you take the HUMMER!!!! I just about jump out of my skin! I could dance! I try to very calmly say okay and finish the paper work! As we are getting the kids buckled in the HUMMER Steve looks at me and says I prayed for this. So after I laughed at him and told him fat chance, he sat there and asked God to grant me a favor! I am humbled by such a wonderful husband and awesome God!

Do you think they could keep the van? I'm ridin' high tonight!!!!

The ordeal is ongoing!!

2007-10-21T21:14:00.001-05:00

Well, I have thought all weekend about what I was going to blog when I got home. I had thoughts of using the title "Morning at the Spa". I would then elaborate on how wonderful it was to be in this tiny bathroom at my mother-in-law's where the kids were under someone else's watch and I was able to sleep in until, get this, 10:00!!!!! And then take a shower long enough to shave 2 entire legs!!! I had salon brand shampoo and conditioner. There was not even a bar of Dove or Oil of Olay soap (exclusive brands in my house hold, even Tone is a treat to me), but here there was only liquid soap from Clinique!!! There was matching lotion and a shower head with several settings! I even used a foot scrub cream!!! (Happy feet!) How such a simple shower can turn into a treat is something only a mom would understand!

Then I thought about the title, "Who has the best Mother-in-law?" The answer was going to be "me"! Mine invited us down to her house for our birthdays. She cooked us a nice meal on Friday night, and plotted with my 6 year old for days about an over the hill singing candle. She let me have the "morning at the spa" After my spa treatment she took us to a cute pumpkin patch where the kids had a ball. Then the gave us the best gift, she kept all three kids and sent us on a date!!! She even gave us birthday money to spend! What a treat! We had steak and seafood, went shopping and saw a movie! We would have thought we were teens, but we did not know where to go parking and were in by 10:30!!!!

But a cute little transmission has topped the weekend! I got my van back Friday and drove all day with no problems. We drive all the way to my mother-in-laws about 2 hours away and as soon as we hit the city limits we notice problems. We drove around Saturday, more problems. Drove to church this morning... you guessed it - more problems! We head home holding our breath. The transmission will not engage at times and you just rev your engine and go nowhere. This happens at the gas station just out of town. We finally shift into gear and baby the van along. In my head I keep hearing on mechanics story of having a $300.00 towing charge from out of town. Every mile feels like a penny saved! But we are driving 2 hours at around 45 miles an hour and just barely keeping the RPMs in a safe range. Around 30 minutes from home we are all in bladder overload and stop for a break and some food. By this time the kids are hyper and tired of the car. So the break was good for us, but bad for the car. I can't go fast enough to turn left out of the parking lot and make it across the street, so we go right, get in the turn lane and head into a large gravel lot to make a smooth turn around. The only problem is I am so focused on the dash and what traffic might be coming that I hit the only large rock on the whole lot!!! This makes Steve happy!! Fortunately, no damage, but we are still creeping along. We make our way to the interstate and are able to go between 45 and 55! I am glad it was a fairly low traffic time. We get to our exit and I have to stop at a yield sign to wait for right of way traffic. Once the cars have passed we wait some more because the transmission will not engage at all! Now we had seen the firetruck pass and go into the nearby gas station. I guess the police were just curious, because they pass us just sitting in the intersection with hazard lights on and decide to ditch the gas station and come see us!! Lucky us! So now I am not only drawing enough attention to myself with a cute van with hazard lights siting at a stop sign going nowhere fast, but I have a undercover (yeah right!) cop car siting behind me with his lights flashing! He is very nice and stands back and watches me rev the engine and go nowhere! He gets in his car turns off his lights and waits. Now I am reving harder, shifting back and forth from park to drive almost frantically. The kids are finally quiet (I think they are scared) and Steve starts telling me which gear to put it in. My favorite is reverse! What? Are you kidding me? There is a police car behind me and you want me to put it in reverse and rev my engine and hope to it engages? You are joking right? He is not! He keeps telling me to try reverse and I keep saying no there is a cop there! Cute little disagreement here. So what is the cop doing anyway? I'm still not sure what he was doing, probably running my tags. But in the meantime a guy and gal in a pick up truck pull up beside us and offer help. They get out to help push and suddenly the cop is ready to push too! So Steve and the cop push us around the corner and fortunately gravity takes over and we coast to a wide shoulder. Steve now want to drive! Like I was not doing it right! Yeah I wouldn't go in reverse!!! Hehehe! He does coax the car to sputter along long enough to make it to a well lit parking lot across the street from the police station. We call a cousin and he comes to get us in his "much-older-than-my-van car" which he points out is running! (Thanks, Joe!) So now we can call a tow truck in the morning after we call the service shop! Hopefully this is the last of the saga. By the way, this is the van I said I would drive until the wheels fell off! Oh yeah and I said this in August when we paid it off!!!!!

Some good news!

2007-10-16T22:25:00.000-05:00

Melanie did well during the surgery and is recovering well. She got her results back from the surgery and the lymph nodes are clear!!! She will begin radiation and chemo in about 3 weeks. They did find another precancerous tumor during the pathology and are trying to figure out how best to handle this one. The doc is consulting with the oncologist and radiation guys. Thank you for your prayers and please continue to lift her up. I will keep you posted.

I was in a small group Sunday and 3 out of the 4 women there had a friend our age that had been diagnosed with breast cancer. We are 30 somethingers and this is so young. Please do your monthly exams, get your mammos (beginning at age 35 now!) and see your gynecologist or primary care doc yearly for clinical exams. Melanie's surgeon had 4 women in their 30's come in with new breast cancer diagnosis the week she went in! He said this was incredible!

Okay off my soap box now. Kids are STILL in soccer and loving it! I am tired of it! Sarah is doing well in school, so we think. We will know in a couple of weeks when report cards come out. Hogan is loving preschool still. He is really good at soccer too! Josiah is more alert and awake more often now. He is smiling but not laughing yet. I am still trying to recover from camping and working so much, plus I am sick with sinus stuff :-( Steve is always too busy. We are trying to get the house ready to put on the market and he had to move out a large family of red wasps tonight! I was too chicken to be there!

My car is getting a cute little - transmission! Yipeee! The whole ordeal has been just that an ordeal! Should be ready by Friday. You know you are paying too much when they get you a rental minivan for free! They wanted to put me in a 2 door sports car! It looked great, but all the car seats were sitting on their sides! I looked at the car when they pulled it in and gently asked if it would hold 3 car seats. OH yes they replied. Then went to their hidey hole and let me haul all our stuff (backpacks for school, diaper bag, my back pack, extra wet wipes, my box of tissue, my pump, 3 car seats an infant and helpful 4 year old. I though okay I will play this little game. So I spend 20 minutes or more mini-moving. Wiping sweat from my forehead, I extract myself from the 2 door sports car ( I had to stand in the back to get seats crammed in) and sweetly say "I don't think this is going to work." The man looks at my crooked seats and decides he can now offer a rental car! The only other loaner car only has two seat belts in the back seat! Now why would you even make a car with only two seat belts? I guess we have more than our allotted 2.o4 children! And I guess you can only have 3 friends! Craziness to me! The rental car was a mini van! The kids think it is wonderful!!! So funny, it is a striped down model, no frills at all. I can't even adjust the seat so my feet touch the floor board. Have you ever driven with your feet dangling? I feel like a kid taking mom's van out for an illegal spin! I set the cruise (too hard to stretch that far all the time) and just dangle my feet. Sometimes I swing them! Hehehe! I think I need to sing a kiddy song or something, but I already do that a lot anyway! So if you see me driving you know my feet are freestylin'!

Another Prayer Request!

2007-10-11T22:30:00.001-05:00

I got a phone call from a very good friend telling me about a mutal friend that is 34 years old and just diagnosed with breast cancer. After the biopsy they classified her as a stage 2 with invasive ductal carcinoma. She goes in for surgery tomorrow afternoon around 4 oclock. Her name is Melanie and I am asking for your prayers once again. We are praying the cancer has not spread to her lymph system and that they will get clean margins during the surgery. Thank you for your prayers, I will keep you updated.

"I miss Mor-Mor!"

2007-10-04T13:55:00.000-05:00

These were the words spilling out of my little girls tear streaked face last night as we were going to bed. She had moped around for about 30 minutes saying her day just wasn't going good. I had assumed she meant it was bedtime and she did not want to go. She started out by saying she had something to tell us. She then relayed the story of the little boy in school who was talking to her and got her in trouble with the teacher. I tried to make light of the situation as it was seeming to upset her so much. We talked a little about it and then said our prayers. She was not happy but seemed content. So, I sent them off to bed. Next thing I know she is coming back into our room. I am just about to give her the "just go to bed" speech when I look up and see tears welling up in her eyes. I still think she is upset about school. Then as the tears start rolling down her face this statement, "I miss Mor-Mor" comes tumbling out.

I can not tell you how heartbreaking this was to me. We have witnessed this several times since March. Things will be rocking along and suddenly things are turned upside down. We have all cried on our way to school. Usually I fight these very sad moments off by talking about mom and how much she loved them both. We tell stories about what she used to love to do with them and for them. This works very well most days. This time though I pulled her into my lap and began my usual reminiscing when I remembered a small box in my closet. I went and go the box and we opened it up to find all sorts of mom's and grandma's things. I put on a pair of reading glasses and asked them to guess who's they were. Suddenly I hear "Mor-Mor's" from two smiling children. We pull out several pairs of glasses, passports, hankies, a bracelet, and pins. The more I pull out the more they smile. We tell several stories and then they trot off to bed.

I am telling the same stories over and over. One of their favorite stories is about mom taking them to church on Wednesday night and taking them to McDonald's afterward for ice cream. She would take them in and let them play and buy ice cream on the way home so they would have more time to play. They were really to little to eat ice cream in the car. They would be covered in ice cream and require another bath. (They usually had one before church.) Then on top of the chaos they would be all wound up from excitement and sugar!

Now, this is where I am going to ask for your help. I would love for you all to send me stories about mom. I would love to have new material to tell the kids and they would love to know new things. You may put them under the comment section, if you are not signed up to blogspot as a user, you may post in as an anonymous blogger, just sign the story with your name like you would a letter so we will know who wrote it. Since I moderate all comments (we had some weird entries before), you can tell me if you do not want them to be posted. Otherwise I plan to post these for everyone to read. You may also send them to me in the mail or by email. I appreciate your cooperation in advance.

Accountability

2007-10-02T22:14:00.000-05:00

Some people have what they call accountability partners. They realize an area in their life that they struggle with and put into motion the scripture that talks about 2 having an easier walk than 1. These people identify someone that they confide in and talk to about their struggle and agree to let this person ask the hard questions on a regular basis. They agree to answer honestly and come to the partner when they are having trouble in this area. In our church the men are encouraged to have accountability partners for any area of difficulty, but often this revolves around purity. Well, I have to confess that I have an accountability partner too. This friend and I email back and forth asking and sharing our latest struggle or victory. Lately I have been very silent because I have been neglectful. So she pulled an intervention on me. She invited me over for lunch! She treated me to a wonderful lunch and very relaxing day. We even ate chocolate and ice cream. When I told her how I was falling down on the job she said "You don't tell your accountability partner what you aren't doing!" Well I thought to my self that is exactly what we are supposed to do! But you know what? As soon as I got home I began working on my faults. She called right in the middle of my progress. I asked how she knew I was thinking about her. (Griping to myself is more like it!) Confessed that I was busy righting my wrongs at that moment. We had a pretty good laugh. She told me she must have been using reverse psychology! We laughed some more as I stood at my sink trying to make it shiny! You see on of my greatest struggles is keeping a clean house. I looked around last night and just sighed! Going back to work has put a big kink in my plans to stay organized and clean! So I think she wanted to show me what clean house looked like! But now my sink is empty and shiny and my counter is cleaned off. Hogan's toys are mostly picked up from the living room and a load of laundry was done! Thank you Shannon for a wonderful day and a little motivation. You are a dear friend!

Work and Play

2007-09-30T16:00:00.001-05:00

I went back to work this week. It made for a very messy house! I feel that we have been flying by the seat of our pants. You would not believe how early I have to get up to be at work on time. As long as Steve is here it only takes me an hour to get up semi ready and out of the house. I usually let my hair dry in the car and might put makeup on at work. But one morning a week he has a men's bible study that starts at 6:00. On this morning I get up at 5:30 just to be at work by 9:00! Can you believe that? Seems insane to me. So needless to say I love the mornings that he helps me so much. He is definitely appreciated!

I have changed my work day by skipping lunch and leaving early enough to pick kids up from school. It relieves their stress and mine! Sarah worried every day last year about who was going to pick her up. Now she knows it will be mommy. I also love the time we spend talking in the car. I had a friend tell me she sees me pass her house all the time and can tell we are just all talking away! I like that. I love hearing about recess, spelling test and what so-and-so did that day.

This weekend we went to our old house and packed the rest of our things. I had stuff on high shelves and things on walls that we never packed. We are trying to hire the repairs and yard work done so we can just work around here. There are enough leaves to bury an elephant in and fall has not really started!

Fortunately we have taken the last couple of weekends and spent most of it playing with the kids. We have a camping trip planned soon and the kids are really excited about that. We are going with a lot of friends and their kids. It should be a blast as long as the weather holds out. We have reserved a large family/group camp site and it will have it's own restrooms and is kinda separated from the rest of the campsites so the kids can play a little more safely. Still not sure how camping with a very young infant is going to work. Sleeping in the van and a hotel down the street are my backup plans! One other couple has an infant a month older than ours. I guess we will figure it out together.

Well, I need to go. I smell a dirty diaper and I am about to attempt to help Hogan learn to ride a bike without training wheels!

Simple Update

2007-09-23T21:34:00.000-05:00

Tonight I just want to give you an update on what is going on in our lives.

Sarah is loving school, which is a huge relief. She had some bully type issues last year and did not much like going to school. This year is off to a great start though. When asked how her day went, she now often replies "Great!" This makes my heart sing! She is also making really good grades in spelling. We have parent teacher conference Tuesday, so I hope we are not surprised! She is also in dance for the 4th year! She muddles through until the recital, then she loves it! The week will be all about her. Trying on the costume to make sure everything is there, practicing make-up and her hair-do, and carting her back and forth for practice and show time. She continues with her Jiu-Jitsu lessons and frequently wrestles daddy and brother! She is also on a fall soccer team. She LOVES soccer. I know this sounds like a lot, but fall is our really busy time. I wonder every fall if it is too much. But soccer goes by in just a few weeks and then it is over. We miss some dance and Jiu-Jitsu during soccer season to keep things at an acceptable run.

Hogan is in his last year of preschool. He loves words, rhymes, and letters in general. He is great at coloring and loves to play with his friends. He is on pee wee soccer team as well. He played on Sarah's team last year and did pretty well. They divided the age groups up a little better this year and he is doing really well on his team. He is not afraid of getting hurt, which makes him a great goalie! Not always a mother's favorite thing! He also takes Jiu-Jitsu and we are often told how strong he is by the teachers. They say he is one of the strongest they have seen in his age group. (This makes his daddy's chest puff out a bit!)

Josiah is growing. He is awake more and more. He sleeps better at night, although we are up every 2 hours usually. He is smiling some now too. He actually smiled for the first time in the hospital! But it is more common now and reactive. He loves to cuddle still and I have a "Moby", which is a HUGE piece of fabric I wrap around my body several times and tuck him in to carry him around. The minute he goes in this thing he falls asleep! I love it and wish I had discovered it with the other two. It is a little warm, but other than that very comfortable.

Steve and I just run around burning tons of gas to get kiddos where they go on time. We did replace the carpet in the bathroom (carpet in a BR is a terrible idea). Right after we moved in I could not stand the carpet in that bathroom a second longer and decided bare wood was better than the nasty carpet, so I riped it up. To my surprise there was old tile underneath. I tried to clean it but it was so old and stained. It was hopeless with out possibly re glazing it. So we bought stick on tiles and slapped them down last night. They are really cheap since we plan on remodeling this spring. But at least the kids have a cleanable floor to walk on now!

I will head back to work this week:-( I do not look forward to it yet, but it will be better once I get back in the swing of things. Besides, how do you complain about 2 days a week?

The Quest

2007-09-20T12:07:00.000-05:00

I wrote this for Angie a long time back, so it is a bit of a retread, but I try and surprise her every once in a while. Maybe this showing up in a different place and time will put a smile on her face. I wrote a couple of things for her inspired by the fact that God made Eve just for Adam, and he definitly made Angie just for me. I love you Angie!

The Quest

A valley stretches out below surrounded with snow crested peaks like jewels on the crown of a princess. The pungent smell of the fir trees rise on the warm breeze from below, their dark green bows painting the grey and white of the mountain’s lofty slopes like mosaics on a palace wall. A sea of scarlet and saffron stretches to the depths of the valley below; where the trees parade there exquisite attire. The deer bound across meadows of sage, gold and umber. Rabbits disappear into the emerald undergrowth as if they were fairies in a child’s tale. How can I help but to descend into the depths of the beauty before me? Plunging into the twilight of the forest, exhilaration over takes me as the elk bugle and a symphony of birds joins the chorus. The sun sends out streamers of blazing orange across the sapphire sky, and pierces the forest darkness with shafts of pure gold. An eerie fear sneaks up on me as the air comes alive with the cry of a distant wolf. Stumbling, running and struggling ever forward I grow weary. My soul yearns for something of which I can’t put into words. My heart aches for unknown places. Then like bells on Christmas morning, I hear water playing across stones, dancing its way across the stage before me in a ballet like none ever seen. I yearn for just one taste of the water’s sweet coolness. The coolness of the stream soothes my parched throat. My mind wanders to the source. If I could only interrupt its journey but for a moment, and inquire of the source of its great joy. Where is this coming from? Why does the water draw me like the sirens song? Enchanted I find myself lying beneath the arching limbs of the forest above, craving their protection and strength. The soft warmth of the moss covered bank caresses my face, as I rest my head in its cradling arms. The earthy smells of the forest floor lilt across my face on their way to greet the angels in the heavens. Sleep overtakes me, and I dream of my quest. The fantasies form one after another romancing and intoxicating my mind, drawing me into their spell. Whether I can ever reach my goal, I don’t know. Who can say what that the goal of my journey is even real? But in a place like this, how can I ever abandon the quest. The quest has become a part of me, a quest for the secret garden of Eve’s soul.

Caught!

2007-09-18T10:38:00.000-05:00

Well, Joshiah and I have both hit cranky, or as Hogan puts it "Cwanky". Josiah seems to be crying unless he is asleep or nursing. We are going through a lot of Mylicon (anti-gas drops for babies). Thank goodness it helps some.

So knowing that you now know I am tired and a little stressed...........

On top of that my van is in the shop. About a month ago my van started making this awful noise. Steve was afraid it was dangerous to drive it, so we drove straight to the fix-it man. It was after hours, so I basically just drop it off and leave a message on the machine. When I talked to the man the next day I was embarassed. The life threatening noise that stopped our world was a meanicing stick! He removed it from under the van and magically the noise stopped. But while I had it there he did some much needed maintance as well - so all was not lost. Then about 2 weeks later the check engine light came on. Once again I just show up at this poor man's house. He was in his jeep going to the bank and stopped to check it out. The computer said it was something I can't remember with the transmission. He asked if it was acting funny. I said no. So he turned the light off and said it would be an unusal problem for my make of van and if anything cropped up to let him know and he would hook up the "big" computer. Well don't you know I drive out of the shop and down the street and the transmision does start slipping. So I bravely ignore the problem! So I finally decide we need to have it looked at and take it to the transmission shop and they have had the van now for 2 days. If you know me, you know that it is torture for me to be without transportation. I apparently am not able to stay home. I have always said home represents work, so I flee!

So now this is day two at home. I have accomplished a little of the work too by the way. But this morning I get Steve and Sarah off, and cooked breakfast for Hogan. (Yes, you read it right, I cooked him eggs!) Then he is sitting quietly in front of the TV and Josiah is sleeping. I am tired and still not out of my night gown so what should I do? Now is the perfect time for a shower. But I can't go anywhere until Steve comes to get me this afternoon. So I crawl back into bed and snuggle up the baby and quickly fall asleep thinking I am sneaking in a nap! Next thing I know Steve is home. He forgot something for work and had to come back to get it! Why have I never been able to be sneaky? I could never get away with anything as a kid or teenager either. Oh well, I guess it keeps me honest.

How to make your kids smile in the morning!

2007-09-12T22:54:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I go to the bible study for moms at our church last night feeling pretty good about myself. I had gotten everyone to all activities on time, cleaned the house up, done laundry, played with Hogan, went to the grocery store and arrived for the bible study carpool on time!!! All major accomplishments for me (except playing - I do that very well!) The pastor's wife begins by having us make a collage of our life. Mine of course portrays chaos! How else can you describe the last year? I have a disjointed woman jogging with a phrase "out of whack?" and a dog with a shredded roll of toilet paper etc. As we are sitting there visiting the lady next to me begins to talk about milk. Well okay I don't usual talk about milk but I am game. She is explaining to another friend (who grinds her own wheat) that you can buy skim milk and mix it with heavy whipping cream. I am thinking why in the world would anyone do that? So I listen and learn that neither are homogenized. Never really gave this any thought. She states that since you need the fat to metabolize fat soluble vitamins she mixes the two to get a small percentage of fat. Stupid me chimes in with something like I thought that was what McDonald's was for - metabolizing fat soluble vitamins!!! She looks at me and laughing says they will continue to work on me. I laugh and the wheat grinding friend laughs looks at the other lady and says she, referring to me, is laughing but she is not kidding. No I am not kidding, I love Big Macs. I know they are terrible for you, but they are so good to me. I even get the large coke when I eat one!!! If you are going to keel over from fat you might as well have some good old caffeine and sugar on board. The rest of the evening is pretty much the same. These ladies talk about homeschooling, cooking, mixing various milks, cleaning etc. All very foreign topics to me. I keep thinking about the frozen foods I bought to heat for my family, all the house work I left undone, did we read with Sarah yesterday? At least I buy organic milk! :-)

Fast forward to this morning. I am rushing around with stringing wet hair, makeup bag in my hand trying like mad to get everyone out the door on time (Steve had an early meeting this AM- so I am flying solo). Sarah begins to tell me she did not eat breakfast. Then she asks for McDonald's (don't know where she learned that bad habit from). Now she is crying because I said we don't have time. I look frantically at the green bananas, reach for a jar of peanut butter, spoon, bag of chips, cheese dip, and caffeine free Dr. Pepper. Sarah gets the peanut butter and spoon, Hogan gets the bag of chips and cheese dip. Both get a glass of good old caffeine free Dr. Pepper! (Sorry Grandma Marcia!) I shove them in the car and they are beaming now! There are no more fights, no whinning, no fussing, no tears, just silence and a few happy sounds.

So now I am thinking okay, after this I must go mill some wheat, mix some milk, grow some organic vegetables and kill a roaming chicken for supper to make up for this. I will clean house all day, wash the car and walk the dogs. Reality - I run errands, work on Plastag, attend a meeting, visit Steve at work for a few minutes, pick up kids, take care of more of mom's affairs, come home pop a frozen pizza in the oven, offer chips and spinach dip, yogurt, or pickles as snacks while we wait. Pop popcorn after dinner and bake pre-made cookies! I don't guess I will be getting mother of the year awards - unless my kids get to vote!

Disclaimer: Just so you know I really do admire these women. I don't know how they do it. They juggle so much and seem so serene. Truth be told, they are probably better educated than myself because they are educating others. I don't know when I last thought about a proper adjective. (Can you tell?) Homeschooling mom's have to be mom, maid, cook, teacher, and coach all at the same time. I think they are wonder women! And I still need to learn more about that milk thing.

Rejoicing

2007-09-12T00:26:00.000-05:00

I just sent an email to a dear friend of mine whose mom passed away a year ago yesterday. I feel terrible that I missed calling her on this unbearable day. I have already had so many emotions leading up to our one year anniversary of events. I am sure this day is difficult at best. Then I log onto my blog and read today's scripture which is Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice!" Rejoice? Can I really say I am rejoicing for her or for me? No at this very moment I don't feel a bit like rejoicing. I feel cheated for us all. These were two wonderful women. They served God with all their hearts, all their lives... regardless! Neither one had perfect lives, but they laughed, loved, and brightened days for many. How could two such precious people be taken so early. Don't we need them here, isn't there enough bad stuff around already. Why take such good Godly women so young? I think about all the ways we try to explain this stuff and I still wonder. But I know I will trust God and what He has allowed to come into our lives. A song by Natalie Grant (I think) titled "Held" comes to mind. It talks about how life is not perfect or fair, yet this is when we realize that God is holding us and loving us through the pain and sorrow. It speaks to me on a very deep level. This life is full of so many valleys, some much deeper than others, yet God is always there. Another friend that has suffered more sorrow than I told me, "this comes as no surprise to Him". He is watching and caring for us without fail, without taking a break, without forgetting us, without losing concern, without missing a fraction of a second in our lives. We may not be spared grief just because we love Him, but He promises to always love us. This love is palpable at times if we can just stop and feel. Is it easy? No. Am I grateful? Yes. Will I rejoice? Yes, I will commit to rejoicing even though the tears flow now, I will rejoice and I pray my dear friend will be able to rejoice too.

MamaBear I love you and your family. I loved your mom. I rejoice for two lives well lived and a God who loves them. May that love carry you through the next few days once again.

How to have an (almost) Romatic evening!

2007-09-08T23:48:00.000-05:00

Our church is focusing on children and I guess families as a whole this year. So in honor of that, they are providing a few nights of free childcare for couples to go out. We were so excited. I am still not in shape after a baby, so I dress up the best I can which means maternity jeans and a nice shirt. We dropped off the two older kiddos at 6:30 and went to the sanctuary where they had a band playing, flavored coffee and couches set around and several tables with candles etc! Very nice. We see our friends sitting around holding hands, laughing and gazing into one anther's eyes. Soon they had someone on stage talking about marriage and its importance in a family. They had a cute skit, a few jokes and then some fun little games to win a free dinner. This all lasted about 30 minutes, then we were on our own for 3 more hours! We decided to try a nice little cafe several minutes from the church. You know somewhere we normally don't go. I feed the baby and we head into the restaurant - just the three of us. We are looking at the menu discussing what to get and I am holding a sweet sleeping baby thinking how blessed I am to be out with two of my favorite men. Baby begins to squirm and I feel warmth on my hand. I look down and his little diaper has failed me terribly. I look at Steve with what I am sure was pure panic and said something to the effect that I needed to make it to the bathroom quickly. As I slid out of the booth, I notice a trail that I am leaving behind. I panic more. I have clothes for the baby, but none for me. I am out with Steve on a rare date and I have you know what on my pants!!!! I rush to the waitress hoping the bathroom is at the front of the restaurant, they shake their heads and point to the very back - past lots of people. I am mortified as I go to the bathroom and every one is drawn to us by crying (I won't say who was crying me or the baby!) I get him on the changing table. He requires a full outfit removal, multiple wet wipes, a trip to the sink for soap and water, a new diaper, new clothes, new blanket and he is set. Now I make another arduous trip through the restaurant where people are now stopping me to see the baby and ask how old he is. I give him to Steve and carry the diaper bag back to the restroom with the hope of hiding the mess. I use all the paper towela in the bathroom (there were few) and most of the wet wipes I have in the bag, along with soap and water on my pants. Now I have this huge wet spot going from my back pocket to the front of my leg and I'm questioning how clean I really got it. I buck up and head back out to the table. Steve had to wipe down the booth seat with wet wipes and wash up while I was in changing the babe!!! I have never felt so romantic as this I must say.

In the meantime some couples come in smelling of alcohol and sit behind us. They were obviously not close friends as the conversation was all introductory, mainly from the very talkative man right behind us. So there is now no staring into each others eyes and talking quietly to one another as you see in movies. We are trying to enjoy whatever Steve ordered while listening to this man tell his life story in our ears! I can tell you he "respects old stadiums". Whatever that means. Don't you earn respect? Can an object earn anything? At least I didn't have to sit there and act like I was interested!!!! :-)

We finish and head back to the church to get the kids an hour and a half early. I am feeling rather cheated in my rare night out. I am wondering what everyone will think of the poor couple that could not even be creative/romantic enough to stay out the full 3 hours. I think I was sulking a little to be honest. We pull in and just as I am about to really feel embarrassed I notice there are several of our friends already heading back to their cars with their kids! I am sure none of them have wet pants and hopefully did not sit so close to mister loud mouth, but I feel more normal now. I figure they must have busy family days tomorrow - just like we do. They have little ones that need their sleep - just like we do. So it might not have been the dream date of my youth, but all in all we had a great time talking, resting, laughing, and even holding hands!

Another moving day!

2007-09-01T08:32:00.001-05:00

Today Anna and Brian are moving into mom's house. I guess from here on we will have to call it something besides mom's! They have already moved most of the boxes and there are a hand full of guys to move the furniture. Then we will begin fixing the house up to put on the market! It will be nice to be down to just one house! It will be even nicer to not have someone on the waiting list to be moved! In the last 2 months every last one of us has moved! When we went to see the atty the other day we had to update everybody's address and contact info! Seemed kinda strange. Anyway the next few weeks will be spent organizing Anna and painting cleaning our house. So much work left but the light at the end of this tunnel appears bigger and brighter every week!

Boring.

2007-08-29T23:58:00.000-05:00

Well. after so many months of shall I say "excitement", I feel I am rather boring now. I wait for an infant to go to sleep, need changing or feeding. I wait to go pick up Sarah after school, or for Hogan to either go to sleep or wake up! I am driving now and that has gotten me out of the house each day. Monday was basically a catch up day. After not having any activity for almost 3 weeks, I literally stayed out all day! We finished up soccer practice and I brought the kids home, bathed them, then we all piled up in my bed and began to go over Sarah's school work while we waited on daddy to some home from Jiu-Jitsu. One of the last things I remember was Sarah asking me how I could see her work with my eyes closed while she tried to pry the open! I mumbled something about looking at the words before I closed them. Fortunately we were on the last page! I vaguely remember Hogan talking and talking and seeing Sarah next to me already asleep too. Then the kids were in their bed and Steve was talking to me. Apparently I never fully woke up and don't remember anything anyone said! I guess you could say I over did it that day!

Tuesday was better. Jana came in and we worked once again on Plastag and went to see an Atty for mom's estate. And of course we had lunch! We did unplug Plastag's fax machine which was a big step in my opinion. I feel we are finally closed. We are still cleaning up accounts with statements and all but hey, collecting is more fun! It just amazes me how much work it takes. Mom always said no one really understood how much work she did and people think because you work at home it must be easier or something. Well I really appreciate that statement now. It has taken Jana and myself and about 3 other companies to do what mom did day in and day out for 30 years! She was amazing!!!!

Today, Hogan and I stayed home with the baby. I have found a new passion. I am trying to organize myself. I feel I run helter skelter all the time. I have no routines (or very few) and stuff just flies around me. Kinda like the kid on Peanuts, I think his name is Pigpen! He always had a cloud around him - that's me! So, I have signed up with FLYlady and study her numerous emails and website daily to figure out how to fix me. I have some really good ideas already and am working on those. I have not really started her program as far as the house goes yet, but that is to come when I am stronger. (I still have a very good excuse and I am using it!) I am shining my sink though.

Josiah is awake more each day. He will just lay there and quietly look around. He is such a good baby! I hope we will have more pictures to post soon. Sarah and Hogan are still crazy about the baby and are so good with him. Hogan is still a little rough but is learning to be more gentle. He calls the baby, "bubba", "bubby", "tiggy-wiggy", and "bear"! He has nicknames for everything and loves rhymes! Sarah is just great with the baby all the way around!

For a little entertainment check out my link to Potter Place and watch the short video. The artist is amazing!

Parenting Conference

2007-08-25T21:19:00.001-05:00

We spent all day today sitting in on a very informative parenting conference. It was titled "Grace Based Parenting". The speaker was funny, well spoken, and I agreed with so much of what he said. Steve and I talked about what he presented and pinpointed some areas that needed work with our own parenting skills. We talked about how to remedy these little problem areas and thought we were onto something grand. Well, however much we learned, someone, it seems, has forgotten to explain all the rules to our kids! We are still having the nighttime battle. They have been in bed for over an hour now and they have gotten up multiple times already. Our new system for giving our strong willed children more choices and control seems to be failing already! Steve has had to go in and determine where the scary purple light was coming from and now is off to determine where the scary green and red lights are coming from! How they come up with this stuff I will never know! Fortunately for them they have a daddy that is great at riding the world of scary lights! (Apparently, a best friend and favorite cousin have told them there are purple lights and fires in the bathroom! I'll have to make sure I thank their mom.)

Just hanging out.

2007-08-21T12:15:00.001-05:00

Well, we seem to be getting in a more routine sleep pattern. Josiah still sleeps a lot during the day, but we are doing better at night as a whole. He just really likes to wait until I drift off to start fussing. I keep telling him, if he would not wait until I go to sleep I would be a lot more coherent and quicker on the draw! I wake up confused still sometimes. I guess I am adjusting to having another kiddo!

Hopefully I will be able to drive next week. I am anxious to be able to get around, but still have enjoyed being forced to stay at home and rest most of the day. Last night I spent about 2 hours at mom's cleaning up files and stuff from Plastag. I actually threw out more than I kept! Almost 3 times as much! I know Anna will be glad when she sees it! It is sitting in her dinning room and they are almost ready to move in! Jana will be coming down to finish helping me this week. I hope we can get to some of the stuff in storage as well.

Sarah began her first day of 1st grade yesterday. She likes her teacher and says there are not any mean kids in her class this year. (We had some problems last year.) She has not found a good friend yet, but she is on the look out! The class is almost half and half as far as girl to boy ratios go. Last year was mostly boys! I think I will find out more as the week goes on. You know they never talk when asked direct questions! I waited all day to hear about her day and all I got was "I don't know"! Drives me crazy. Now I will just have to wait for the details to come out when they are ready. Part of a parents life I suppose.

Hogan will not start school until after Labor Day. He will be going 3 half days a week. He will be in the older class this year. He loves school and is doing very well. I think if we had more time this summer to spend with him we could have had him reading. That is one of my goals this fall. He loves words, rhymes, and books! I think he even loves letters!

Steve is staying very busy at work and at home. He looks tired to me and I hate not being able to help him out more than I do right now. He has been such a blessing over the last year. He works tirelessly and never complains (well, almost never anyway - way less than I complain!) We are hoping for a little vacation time when Josiah and I are ready to travel. I can't wait!

IT IS 4:30AM I AM TIRED AND BORED!!!!!!

2007-08-18T04:31:00.000-05:00

IT is now 4:30am......obviously I am tired.....also bored. We just looked up this guys other videos on you tube, and they are kinda cute. Maybe 'cause I can relate....maybe 'cause I am tired......maybe 'cause it is 4:30AM!!!! Nevertheless, enjoy.

-Steve

Sleepless in Seattle.....no....Dallas.....no....Man we are home aren't we.....darn!!!!!

2007-08-18T04:13:00.000-05:00

Well it is 4am, and Angie showed me this video on her friends blog. I am sure Sheryl is going to think that we plagerize her site constantly, however, considering the time we are putting it up anyway because it is SOOOOOO appropiate. Considering the war over bedtime last night, and the fact that I am sure the rumble (notice I did not say pitter-patter) of little feet from the other side of the house will begin very soon just as this one decides the sun is up so he can sleep.

-Steve

PS: You might pause Angie's music so you can listen.

Reality hits home!!!

2007-08-17T23:40:00.000-05:00

Sarah and Hogan came home today. They are so excited to be home. They have talked non-stop and been very happy. That is until it was bedtime! The fact that Josiah gets to sleep in mommy and daddy's room did not go unnoticed. The tears, crying and even some screaming started the moment we said go get in bed. They were suddenly terrified of their room! They refused to stay in bed and came to our room repeatedly. It took Steve going in and staying with them until they fell asleep to get them settled down. I think tomorrow night we will have a bunking party in our room to help ease the unfairness of life!

Josiah is doing well. He has gained 7 ounces since we have been home. His coloring is so much better and last night he actually slept better. He has kept me up until 3 AM and 5 AM! I hope we started a new trend last night. He slept for 3 hours at a stretch and was only up for 2 1/2 hours in the middle. Which I will take over the all nighter!

I seem to be getting stronger as well. I can walk at a little more normal pace! If you ever want to see just how slowly a person can walk go to the postpartum unit and watch! I think they put up speed limit signs or something! But I still am very protective of my stomach. Apparently they had to really push on my belly to get Josiah out. I had a lot of scar tissue from previous c-sections and this caused a little bit of a problem. Steve said there was a very large girl (taller than him and by far heavier) coming up off her feet pushing on me! With all our technology, this is what really happens! To say the least my right side is very tender still.

Anyway, they still won't let me drive and this is driving me crazy. I never stay home all day and now it is day after day. I did go out yesterday and today and I think I might be a little glad I am housebound though. Just riding in the car is uncomfortable in itself. (And no, I did not drive.)

Anna and Brian have just about finished all their remodeling of mom's for now. They are planning on moving some stuff in this weekend. I am not sure when they plan the big move, but I am sure they could use some help if anyone is available and feels called to help! I think they are getting pretty tired at this point and school starts Monday.

Well, that's all for now. I need to take advantage of Josiah's sleep!

Settling in at home.

2007-08-14T15:29:00.001-05:00

Josiah and I have spent some wonderful quality time together over the past 2 days. We both love to sleep in! Of course he is still sleeping a lot at this point and I join him on occasion. We went yesterday evening to have the bili levels retested and he is still on the rise but just slightly. We are to take him back to the pediatrician tomorrow for a re-check. He still looks very yellow to me. He has also slept more today than yesterday (higher levels of bilirubin cause them to be sleepy). He is nursing good (we are setting alarms to wake him up and feed him every 2-3 hours.) He has a hard time getting started feeding but does well once started. He is also meeting the output requirements. All these things are important in decreasing bili levels. I have also been setting him in the indirect sunlight during the day. Please pray that we will not have to go back under the lights. It is not a big deal-he just lays under a blue light with a mask on, but it breaks my heart to not be able to hold him. He loves to be swaddled and held close and lying in the incubator all stretched out just does not set well with him. He fidgets, jerks, jumps, and fusses all the time. Steve spent so much time just standing in front of the incubator holding his little hand or stroking his head through the little port holes. I know he got tired, but he never complained.

I will let you know what the verdict is tomorrow after we see the doc!

Welcome home Josiah!

2007-08-12T19:03:00.000-05:00

We finally dot to come home this evening! They checked Josiah's bili level again this afternoon and it had only increased slightly so they cut us loose! We are so glad to be here! It seems too quiet without the kids running around. Steve and I both had a hard time letting them go this weekend. I was really feeling bad about coming home and them missing the big event when we were suddenly told we could not go home! Then I was really glad that Sarah and Hogan were not at the house anticipating our arrival. They would have been terribly disappointed. Hopefully, I will be much stronger when they come home later this week!

Happy birthday mom!

So far so good.

2007-08-12T11:05:00.001-05:00

Josiah's bili level dropped to 12 this morning. They have let us keep him out of the lights for now. He at Steve are very comfortable together on the couch as snuggled up together. They will keep him until this afternoon when they will redraw his lab and if it has not gone up too high we will get to go home. If it is higher than they would like we will go back under the lights. He is eating well now so we are hopeful that we will get to go home!

Boy oh Boy!!!!

2007-08-11T19:03:00.000-05:00

What a week! Wednesday morning we got up very early and headed to the hospital. When we arrived they were not expecting us! Someone had scheduled the c-section and then taken us off the schedule! They scrambled around and got us a room, preped me and had the OR ready by our original time of 0730! Fortunately, we were on the doc's schedule and he was not rattled at all by the mixup! I on the other hand was very nervous. I hate c-sections! I had rather do natural labor than have and epidural! (My sisters have decided that I am crazy!) When they wheeled me back to the OR they made Steve wait outside until they had placed the epidural. I really wished he had been in there with me. They got everything going and I was frantically looking around for him. They then went and got him! I relaxed a bit. The doc came in happy and ready to go. He also made me feel more at ease. He talked to me throughout the whole procedure which was nice as well. Before he started he asked me to guess the baby's weight and I said 6 1/2 pounds. He said he thought I was very close to what he guessed. Well, I will spare you the grusome details (actually I don't know them because they drape you where you can't watch your our surgery for some reason!) but the doc said he was crying before they even pulled him out! They had to use forceps due to scar tissue from my previous sections so he has some bruising on his face. After the doc delivered him he showed him to me and said "that is no 6 1/2 pound baby!" When they finally weighed him he weighed in at 8 pounds and 1 ounce. He was 20 1/2 inches long. His hair is a very light brown or dark blond with a reddish tint so far. His eyes are of course a dark blue. He has a round head and face thanks to the section. And we are in love! His name is Josiah Jonathan. Sarah and Hogan are also in love. Hogan will hold Josiah and say "I love Josiah/bubba! " They have been very excited to come see him each day.

The hospital stay was uneventful until we were packed up and about ready to leave. They had discharged me and we were waiting on the discharge orders for Josiah. Then the nurse came in and said he had to stay because his bilirubin levels were critical and they needed to put him under the bili lights. So they put us in a "rooming in" room down the hall and he is in his incubator with his little mask on and we are watching him like you would an aquarium! Steve is sitting next to the box and has his hand inside one of the portholes holding Josiah's hand. This seems to calm him down a lot. So as our new little baby sleeps under his blue lights we just sit and watch. We are praying that we will be able to take him home tomorrow.

It's a Boy!!!

2007-08-10T16:05:00.000-05:00

Well the Titus household was blessed with an 8lb 20.5 in bouncing baby boy Wednesday. Angie and Josiah are doing great, and we will all go home this weekend. I am not going to take a lot of time to post as I need to get to my fatherly duties because Sarah and Hogan have come to visit. I am sure that Angie will be prolific with the blog as she is home bound for a cople of weeks.

I did however want to get some pictures up because I know you are all dying to see. So here it goes.....

Baby's birthday is set!

2007-08-06T22:08:00.000-05:00

Today we scheduled the c-section. I think I have been frowning every since. I think Steve and the rest of our family is more comfortable with the section. We will welcome the baby to the family on August 8th around 7:30 AM! I do look forward to being able to lie on my back and soon stomach. My hips and shoulders are so worn out I can hardly stand it anymore. I can't even lean back in a chair now, it just all but stops my breath! I figure we will spend about 3 days at Baptist and be home sometime during the weekend. It will almost be nice to be confined to the bed/house for a few days. If only the baby will sleep all night! Neither of the other two did for a couple of years! But I can always hope! At least for another few days anyway!

When we were at the hospital last we did not have Internet access available on the floors. I am hoping they have changed this but am doubtful. I will post and answer e-mails when I can talk Steve into running to the lobby to download everything. :-) I will keep you updated as best as I can.

Nesting or pure panic?

2007-08-05T22:23:00.000-05:00

Today we got A LOT done! After church (which was VERY GOOD by the way!), we began our errands. The most important was buying an infant car seat. We were beginning to think we would have to have a friend with a newborn come pick us up at the hospital and drive us home! They won't let you leave the hospital if you don't have an appropriate car seat. Which is a great rule, but we have been so busy. Well, after a $350 trip to Target, problem solved! Simple huh?

When we finally got home and unloaded the last stuff we got from mom's, I laid down with Hogan to help him fall asleep. I began having contractions they were 5 minutes apart for 30 minutes. So, I got up and began moving around to see if they would stop. I began laundry and helping unpack some. They continued and began to get stronger. So what did I do? Work harder and faster! I began to look around and see how unprepared we were! With Sarah I had my bag packed at 7 months and repacked it every week or so, you know, just to make sure. Now, I have a few things in my bag for this little one!

After about 3 or 4 hours the contractions slowed to a crawl. But we have made a great head way on the house. It is actually beginning to look like people could live here. (Except for the kids room, which looks like a bomb went off in the toy box!). So now my low back is still hurting and we will see. My luck I will go until they do a c-section! I really have wanted the natural delivery I was never able to complete with Sarah. I am praying that if God will grant me that desire it will happen before the scheduled date. Which we are leaning heavily toward a section later this week. I really like my OB and Steve remembers how scary it was in the last few minutes with Sarah's delivery and also my heart rate concerns us a little. At any rate, panic gets a lot done!!!!

More Boxes!

2007-08-04T21:47:00.000-05:00

Today we brought some of the remaining things from mom's. We are down to what we will store for a few months and all get together and decide who's closet they will inhibit. There are lots of family photo albums and pictures to go through. Some remaining dishes/china type pieces and that wraps it up! In the meantime, Anna has hit the house like a mad woman with a mission. They are really changing the looks of the place. I think she may be delirious from all the primer and paint she has been inhaling! Brian has been busy as well changing light fixtures, door knobs, ceiling fans, and riping out dark wood to be replaced with lighter more modern trim! They are having to rewire some things as well. They have also removed the old gutter lighting (what a dust trap!) So, we are all anxious to see how things turn out. They are leaving the kitchen and mom's room as is for now, so maybe we will still recognize the place!

I think I am slowly killing Steve with moving boxes and furniture. He looked so tired today hauling more of our junk around. I am of very little use these days. At least I have enough kitchen stuff now to cook diner for the family. Sarah goes next door to our cousins house and picks fresh tomatoes for us and loves to help me prepare diner. Unfortunately, she is not always crazy about eating what she helps create! Hogan on the other hand will eat! That is unless he is to busy playing to eat. We are without a table right now so they eat at the coffee table in the living room. This lends itself to more play than eating some nights. Especially when mom and dad are too tired to fight the battle! :-)

I do have some friends who are planning on coming over to help me get things arranged and ready for the baby. It will be such a huge help! One of the ladies is expecting soon herself. God has really provided some true blessings in our lives.

Welcome to our new family blog!!!!!

2007-08-02T22:16:00.000-05:00

Well, this has been an eventful week for my family. We have all been pretty sick around our house for about 3 weeks now. We have weathered strep, pneumonia/bronchitis, a virus and are now hoping the strep is not returning! I have had a terrible cough for a couple of weeks, took two antibiotic shots, an oral antibiotic. Then discovered my heart rate was too high and that I had a heart murmur. This all landed me in the cardiology office late Monday afternoon! They ran a few test and decided everything was okay but I about scared Steve to death! He apparently does not like getting calls from his 36 week pregnant wife stating they are sending her straight to the cardiologist!

Next came my visit with the OB on Wednesday. He told me he would be gone the week we were thinking he would be doing a c-section! Great! So, we are now trying to decide on whether to have the baby next week!!!!! or wait and see if I go into labor or hold off until he returns! It panicked me! I was hoping to have a VBAC but always felt comfortable that he would be around just in case! Now we are trying to figure out what to do. We have until Monday or Tuesday to make the decision. The baby is small for us, he is guessing 7-71/2 pounds by term! After Hogan at 10.2 this sounds very small, although we realize it is a good, normal size baby! Either way we will be welcoming a new little one into the family very soon! I still can't believe God has blessed us with three children! Who am I to raise three of His precious angels!

Meanwhile, we are trying to get settled in our new house. We are unpacking boxes nightly and trying to squirrel away all our treasures! Steve seems to be shredding more things than squirreling! He has worn the kids out with shredder duty! I heard them shredding one day and asked (like any concerned mom) whether or not it was safe for their little fingers. He said yeah, I tested it out before giving them the chore! I immediately had visions of him trying to cram a one of THEIR fingers in to see if it would go or not! He reassured me he unplugged it before checking the size!!!! :-) Anyway, now when you say this needs to be shredded the kids run and hide!

They do seem to like being out in the country. Hogan loves digging in the dirt and I guess it is just better dirt here! He will go out back and dig forever! I keep expecting to see Chinese people coming to the door any day but so far just Hogan comes in! Sarah is making plans for her barn! She is picking out what color she wants it to be! I think blue is winning today. I'm thinking natural wood color so we don't have to repaint! Maybe I need to get her thinking about her bedroom walls instead. They are obviously less stressed and happier than they have been in months. They are beginning to talk about missing MorMor though. We try to get them to tell a happy, funny or favorite memory when this subject comes up. I want to encourage them to remember the pre-cancer MorMor.

Well that's about all for now. I will keep you updated on the baby as we get closer to time! I have just a few days to remember how to post a picture!